meeting people online

I had a bad experience, therefore I may have a biased opinion on this subject. But I think one of the best things in life is that we can learn from other peoples experiences. I appreciate that and really do use that as a practice in my life. So, I feel as though I should share the story for those who don't know and as a reminder to those who do.
I was one year out of high school when I met Ryan in a chatroom for fans of the Dave Matthews Band. We chatted for a little bit on the first night and then ended up talking on the phone that same night for about 3 hours. We talked again on the phone the next few days and then decided to meet. I went to his apartment (that he shared with his dad and his sister) and picked him up. We went to a see a hypnotist that was performing at my college. It was fun and we got along really well. We kept talking and he slowly became a big part of my life. He was going through a rough time in his life and he dropped out of high school not soon after we met. He said he always wanted to be a DJ and he wanted to go the school to be one. I, being the nice person I am, helped him out so much. I drove him places. I got him a job were I worked. I helped him study for and get his GED. He and I just got closer and closer. We even experienced together one of the worst things that's ever happened to me. One night he called me because he had ridden his bike to work, but it was raining and he asked for a ride home. Cool. No problem. I did things like that for him all the time. But this night ended very differently. When we got to his apartment, we got his bike out of the trunk and we were standing by the car. I was standing on the drivers side with door open and he was standing on the passenger side and we were talking. This car drove by us once and then came back around again. One of the passengers got out and pulled a gun on us. I can still picture it like it happened yesterday. Before he pulled the gun, the guy told Ryan that he wanted to buy his bike from him. Ryan told him that it wasn't for sale. The guy then pulled the gun and said that he would take it then. The guy told us not to follow him either. We just stood there in total shock. I was so scared and didn't know what to do. We went to his apartment and Ryan's dad was home. We told him what happened and he called the police. The police came and took statements from both of us. I called my parents to come and pick me up because there was no way I could drive home. The police did search the area and found the bike just up the street. I knew then that the people in that car just did that to screw with us. They saw a chance and took it. They completely altered my life forever and they probably just laughed it off and haven't thought about it since. After this happened, the relationship with Ryan and I took a strange turn. We were closer than ever after sharing this event, but I did not know how I felt. Mind you, the whole time I was "friends" with Ryan, Chris (who is my husband now) and I were together. We had been together over 3 years at this point. Chris lived across the country, though. So we were still long distance. Chris was 1500 miles away and Ryan was right here. I loved Chris with all my heart and knew we would be together forever, but Ryan was right there. He gave me the attention that I was missing. To me, Ryan and my relationship was always just friends. He knew I had a boyfriend. But something strange happened not soon after the hold up. I was at Ryan's and I was laying on his bed reading something and he started rubbing my back. This was strange, but felt good. He started to lift my shirt and I freaked. This was the first such advance that he had done. We had hugged before, but I hug all my friends. When he did this, I sat up and explained to him that he knows I have a boyfriend and that we are practically engaged. He said that he didn't know that we were that serious. I left and was all sorts of confused. Had I led him on? We talked later that night and he was so mad at me. He seemed to think that I had been leading him on the whole time. He said he didn't know if he wanted to be friends with me. I really did not want to lose him as a friend, but I knew things had to change. Then I had to make an even more difficult call. I had to call Chris and explain to him what happened. He knew I had a friend Ryan, but I don't know how much I told him about everything. Even now, I don't remember. But I told Chris what happened and I told him it was up to him about what I should do. If he wanted me not to see Ryan again, then I would not. My relationship with Chris was far too important. He never said that. He wanted me to do what I needed to do. I just wanted an excuse anyway. Our relationship was strained though. I felt very guilty for having the relationship with Ryan. He was right. I had led him on more than I should have. We were both wrong, but I bore the guilt because he thought it was all my fault. It almost destroyed my relationship with Chris. But a few months later, Chris and I became engaged, meaning that I was gonna move to Ohio. I know that after going through this, we both were like, "I don't want to be apart anymore." My relationship with Ryan became almost non-existent. When I told him I was moving, he was upset. He quickly moved on though and met another girl online. He always talked about her and it seemed like he was rubbing it in my face. Trying to make me jealous. The last time we talked was a week before my wedding. I wanted to try to make things right between us, but he wasn't having it. I regret this relationship more than anything in my whole life. I risked my relationship with Chris on a boy I met online. I had one of the most traumatic experiences of my whole life. I also hurt someone that I cared about without really meaning to and it still seems unresolved. Now I know that there are people who have much worse experiences with meeting people online. People getting killed or kidnapped and things. But this was a year and a half of my life that I regret and it all started because we met online and then in real life. When we first met, if I had only known... I know that you can't ever know what will happen in any relationship, online or otherwise. But I just feel like people tend to be more careful with people they meet in real life than with those they meet online. You know your co-workers really well and some you consider friends, but do they have your address or home phone number? Not most of them. But posting on your blog that if random strangers email you, you will give them your address to mail you things. That's just nuts. You knew this was directed at you, Bright Star - or can I refer to you by your real name now since you wrote, "Y'all can know who I am. It's really fine." You know how I feel about all this. I am so glad that all your experiences so far have been positive, but just know that it's not the smartest thing to do and I just don't understand how you think it's ok. Does that little voice in your head not tell you it might not be such a good idea? Seriously? We only say this because we love you. I'll stop now. I've told my story. I can only hope that you don't ever have one to tell.

this is funny

Me: "Are you gonna wait up for me?"
Chris: "Yeah."
Me: "Aren't you gonna go to bed?"
Chris: "I don't know about that."
Me: "What about work tomorrow?"
Chris: "I don't know about that either."
Me: "You can't call in sick for a new tv."
Chris: "You haven't seen it."

You Learn

That was always one of my favorite songs. But it's 4 billion times better in this version. I am loving this!

jagged little pill acoustic

It came out yesterday and if you read the article I posted a few days ago, you would know that it was only available at Starbucks for like 6 weeks and then it will be on sale at "regular" stores. I am not a big Starbucks person, but you think that stopped me from going and getting it? Nope. I am listening to it as we speak. It's so freaking good. Now I really can't wait for the show. The tickets came in the mail yesterday! Beck - Have a great time! I am so jealous. I have to wait a whole month now. You will love it!
Yesterday, not only did we buy the tv, but we went to the mall and went to the Sanrio store. For those not in the know, Sanrio is the company that makes Hello Kitty and other characters. This store sells only Sanrio products and has tons of Hello Kitty stuff. I was in heaven. And even though it was sort of a pain that Chris was with me, he did keep me from spending tons of money there. I did buy a few little things. A couple pens, a key chain, some gardening gloves, a storage crate and some gum. Way cool. I love it. I told Chris if he ever needed a gift for me that anything in the store would work. So, it was actually at the mall that we went to Starbucks and bought the cd. I was actually planning on going to get it on Thursday, but when we walked by the Starbucks, I just ran it and bought it. No coffee, just the cd. The girl behind the counter did give me a second look when I said, "This is all for me." But whatever. She can bite me. I am not gonna drop that much money on coffee that I don't even want just to not feel weird or to avoid strange looks from the barista. Barista's are evil.

new tv

Yesterday, we bought a new TV. It's freaking huge. It's a 52 inch Mitsubishi. We were able to buy it because they were offering 0% financing for a year. Plus, it was on sale and that sale ends today. So today after work, my super nice dad is gonna met Chris at the store to pick it up. There is no way it would fit in our car. So my dad is gonna bring his truck to help us out. We appreciate that a lot.
So this is why I feel broke. It's the last major purchase we can make for some time. We need to get back on our feet financially. We are surviving, but we need to get back on track. We were working hard to get rid of our debit, but since we moved that's taken a back seat.
We are really excited about the freaking huge tv though!

Proactiv works...

Here are my before and after pictures that I have been meaning to post. If you click on them, you can see a bigger picture. The pictures are taken under different kinds of light, but they were the best we could do.
See, I told you Proactiv works!

new checks

With moving, you get to get all sorts of new things. So, I ordered myself some new checks. How freakin cool are these !?!?!?!?!?!

my new schedule

I finally got approved for my new work schedule. I will now be working:
Sunday - 8:00am to 5:30pm
Monday - 7:00am to 4:30pm
Tuesday - 7:00am to 4:30pm
Wednesday - 7:00am to 4:30pm
Thursday - 7:00am to 11:00am

This starts next week, but I am all screwed up because I am doing onboarding this week and next. So who knows when I will really be working! I do, I guess. Sort of.

Frrrozen Hot Chocolate

A couple weeks ago, I watched an episode of Oprah and she had on all of her favorite foods. She had on Frrrozen Hot Chocolate from Serendipity 3. It's a restaurant in New York and the desert is apparently very popular. I had seen it in the movie Serendipity, but didn't think much of it then. But on Oprah, they said you can buy the chocolate mix and make it yourself at home. I am not a big chocolate fan, but Chris is and it wanted to try it. So buy it, I did. It came in the mail on Friday and we made it yesterday and it's yummy! Like I said, I am not a big chocolate fan, but it was quite good.

Seriously, sweetie. I love you, but I think it's time for a hair cut.



Backstage at the Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival on
June 10, 2005 in Manchester, Tennessee

read this...

article: Alanis talks about the upcoming tour and releasing new version of Jagged Little Pill. check it out.

augh

I hate that I get headaches. I had a dull headache last night and took a bunch of advil before I went to bed, but I still have the headache and now the drugs I took this morning are not working. This blows. I had big plans for today. Well, not really. But I was gonna do some stuff. Anyway.

Yesterday I decided to go to a T-Mobile store and get myself a new phone. I had such an old phone and was getting really crappy reception. So, I upgraded and I am so excited. When I got home, I downloaded a bunch of different wallpapers and ring tones. I love that my phone now rings to the oooh oooh's in Clarity (the song by my boyfriend). That's cool. I thought it would be strange to have my phone ring to Your Body is a Wonderland. That would be kinda creepy. But I am all hooked up now. I love my new phone. Plus, I get an upgraded phone plan with more minutes for the exact same money we pay now. That rocks cuz last month we went over on minutes. That gets real expensive. So we are all hooked up now.

this is strange

I just turned the TV on and the same thing was on that was on when I turned it off last night. Weird and trippy.

I cried...

when I watched the trailer for RENT today. There is a link to it on the RENT blog and I watched it over and over. I really can't explain my love for this show. I need to find the soundtrack on cassette. I own it, but I am not sure where it is right now. I need the tape so that I can listen to it in the car. I am not cool enough to have a cd player in my car. Even though I already know all the words, I need to listen more. You can never hear or see RENT too many times. I am obsessed. I know.

movies, 'n shit

I was checking out the new trailers and I saw one for a movie that I think looks really good. It's called November and Courtney Cox is in it. Check out the website and watch the trailer and tell me what you think.

I saw a movie on HBO over the weekend and I scare myself that I like it. It's A Cinderella Story with Hilary Duff and Chad Michael Murray (YUM!). Yes, I can admit that I like it. It was dumb, but cute. It was a fun waste of an hour and a half.

I also want to see The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. The trailer makes it look much better than the commercial. I just hope that it's not one of those movies that shows all the good scenes in the trailer and the rest of it is crap. I think I will go see it by myself. I used to do that all the time. I need to do that again, because I can drag Chris to a lot of things, but this movie will never be one of them.

Still need to see Star Wars, Crash, Monster-in-Law, Lords of Dogtown (mmm, Heath Ledger), Fever Pitch (is that still out?), The Longest Yard and I do want to see Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

And TV...
Watched Entourage last night and LOVED IT! It is such a good show. Also watched The Comeback and it was very strange. I think I liked it, but I can't tell how I feel about Lisa Kudrow's character. I think I feel sorry for her more than anything. And is that something you really want to watch? A show about someone you pity? I will give it another shot, though. And tonight is the first episode of the last season of Six Feet Under. I am sad that it's ending, but it's time. There are a many loose ends that they need to tie up and be done. There isn't really much more than can do. The characters have run their course and are so tortured that you just want it to be resolved. I hope they do that. I will be upset if it ends all crazy like and unresolved.

RENT - the movie

I knew that it was in production, but I just read today in PEOPLE magazine that it is going to be release a week (and a day) after my birthday! RENT and me are meant to be. In 2001, we went to see it on my actual birthday. I love it so much and can sing every word. I also found out that the majority of the original Broadway cast is starring in the movie! THAT IS THE BEST NEWS I'VE HEARD IN SUCH A LONG TIME! Can you tell that I am excited about this? I love the original cast. I never saw them perform it, but because I wore out the CD of the show, I feel like I know them and they are the only voices that belong to those characters. I have seen RENT Multiple times on stage and it was always weird hearing different voices singing the parts that I so associate with the original cast. Anyway. I went online and found a blog that was set up for cast members to post on and for updates about the movie. Totally awesome! I am so happy and excited for this! I just can't contain my love for this show. I really do feel like I'm gonna burst! I can't even imagine how insane I will be by the time it comes out. I will have to see it as many times as I can in the theater and of course I will have to own it on DVD. I know I need to stop ranting on about it. But I am so happy. This has made my day, my week, my year!

not much new here

I have been meaning to take some pictures of my face. What the heck are you talking about, you might ask. Well, in January (I think that was when it was.) I started using Proactiv. And let me just tell you, I need to be on that infomercial. Except for the random breakouts that I get during my period, my face is sooooooooo much better than it used to be. I still has acne, but I do not have major blemishes and redness all the time. I need to take a picture of my face to compare to the pictures that I took before I used it for the first time. I need my BEFORE and AFTER shots.
I will get on that.

Yesterday, my parents came over. My mom hadn't been to the house since the day we moved in and I was so excited to show her all the new stuff. THIS IS NEW. I like showing my house off to people who understand that it's still a work in progress. My mom said that one of my aunts wants to come over and see the house and I really don't want her to. Not that I don't want to see her, but my house truly is a work in progress and I don't need judgments from people who can't see past the ugly ass tile and the ghetto front and back yard and see the potential it holds. Maybe I am being mean about it, but I love our house and I just want others to love it too. And I know some people just can't see potential as well as others. A good example of this would be when we bought our furniture last week. The store where we bought it from was an old building with holes in the interior walls and all different color paint. First of all, they just moved into that location. But the place is for people who can see the potential that the furniture holds in their own home and don't need a fancy display or show room to see the beauty in the product. We were able to look beyond the structure that held the furniture and we got a good deal because of it. We had found a table at another store with a fancy show room and we are so much happier with the one that we ended up buying. That might have nothing to do with the show room, but some people might have been turned off by the store and not given the furniture a chance. Another example of this are those shows that show you the best way to decorate your house to sell it. Like Designed to Sell and Sell This House. I like watching these shows, but think they are crazy. The fact that you have to totally remodel your house to have it sell is crazy. If the potential buyer can't look beyond how you have it decorated to see the house itself, then that's not my problem. Our house was really ghetto inside and we were able to see the potential and went for it. And we got a great house and a great deal. Anyway, I think I have made my point. A little too much, but whatever.

rambling on...

I keep telling myself that I need to get caught up on my blogging, but I just haven't had the time. Ok, that's a lie. I haven't had the desire to. I could write for hours about the craziness of our trip to St. Louis, but I just don't feel like reliving a lot of it. There are a few things that I do want to mention. While we were there, we went to this famous place called Ted Drewes Frozen Custard. It is so freaking good! You can get it regular or concrete. By concrete they mean that you can hold the cup upside down and it will not fall out of the cup because it is so thick. If you are ever in St. Louis, definitely check it out. There are two locations, and that brings me to a funny story from the trip that I do want to share. We did rent a car, but for most of the trip, we all rode together in my in-laws van. Lovely family togetherness. NOT. Anyway, I had mentioned that my in-laws lived in St. Louis for a long time and so you would think they would know their way around. But you would be wrong. They are the king and queen of getting lost. Once, we got off the freeway going north on a road instead of south. So, instead of just pulling into a parking lot and turning around, they got back on the freeway, went all the way back to the hotel and then went back and got off at the correct exit. How could I make this shit up? So, we went looking for Ted Drewes after we went to the art museum on Friday. My mother in law had gotten some "directions" from someone at the art museum. Long story short, we made one wrong turn and ended up way far away. After driving for miles and miles, they finally pulled into a gas station to get directions. I guess they just asked for how to get to Ted Drewes and then we finally found it. But the funny thing is, we found their other location - not the one that we were originally looking for. We discovered this because the addresses for both places were on the cups we got. We were like a 2 blocks from the first place when we made the wrong turn and ended up way far away by the other one. That was crazy. We all just knew that this had happened and didn't really discuss it while we were driving back to the hotel. Then something creepy happened. We stopped at a light and there was a sign in front of a church that said, "Do you know where you are going?" - GOD. Apparently, we had no clue.

Moving on to other topics... Today, I am taking assist line calls. What does this mean? Well, we have a group of people who are in another call center who take calls that are questions from reps like me. Like procedures and stuff. Apparently, they are understaffed right now for a reason I do not know. So they asked me and one other person at my center to take these calls for about 6 hours today. And the training I had for this was about 2 minutes this morning. Great. So far it's been super easy. I have been on the phone almost 2 hours and have only taken 3 calls. Sweet. This will look good on the resume. I don't believe that they are going to have a group like this at my center any time soon, but it's good for me to be so versatile. Yeah for me.

I also found a picture of the other piece of furniture that we bought the other day.
Here is the picture:


What we bought was the bookshelf-looking unit. The one in the picture is called a "step high," but the one we bought is called a "step low." It's only half of the one in the picture. And it's the same color as the table and chairs. We are going to use it as a sort of room divider and a place for us to drop keys and stuff when we come in the door. We have been looking at things like this for a long time and we just fell in love with this one right along with the table. Hooray for good furniture.

We went to IKEA last night to try to buy a slipcover for the couch that we had bought there and they did not have the color we wanted. Can you believe that? We could not. IKEA has stock to the ceiling and they did not have one black slip cover. We also found a floor lamp that we liked for the living room AND that was out of stock too! The lady said that it is popular and they are getting a new shipment today. I think I'm gonna go back tomorrow and pick up the lamp and see if they got more slipcovers too. But when the lady told Chris that the lamp was popular, he had second thoughts about it. He does not like things that are popular just on principle. I'm gonna buy it anyway.

Oh, and this is something that the husband doesn't know yet. I bought the tickets to the Alanis show yesterday. The seats that I had originally looked at were no longer available, but I still got really good seats. They are in what they call Club Seating. It's the section above the floor, but below the balcony. The place only holds less than 5000 people. The seats I found before were in the middle of the club seating, but 15 rows back. The seats I ended up purchasing were one section to the right of center, but in row 3. They will still be really good. I haven't heard much publicity here about the show, but I did hear something on TV that said this tour was for the acoustic recording release of Jagged Little Pill. It's the 10th anniversary of the album and she recording the whole album again, but acoustic. So that's what the show is gonna be. That is so freaking awesome! And I am thinking that it was like 10 years ago that my sibling unit and I went to an Alanis show for my birthday. Am I remembering that right? Anyway. I am happy and excited and Chris can bite me. He will go. Kicking and screaming.

our new dining room furniture

Today we happened upon a new furniture store called Furniture Wholesalers. We went in and found a dining room set that we fell in love with. And we bought it. They have to order them and it will take about 4 to 6 weeks, but we can wait for what we like. We have been looking for a long time and thought we found one that we liked, but when we saw this, we just knew it was mean to be ours. They are from a company called Calligaris. Here are some pictures:

As you can tell from the photos I just posted, we are home. I'll write more later.


The arch.


Chris, Linda & Sarah (my sister-in-laws) at the top of the arch.


a very blurry picture of me & Chris.

Not my picture, but I just wanted to post one!

so, what's up with me lately?

On Monday, my husband's grandfather passed away. He died peacefully. And we are thankful that he is no longer in pain. So, I am writing this from St. Louis. We flew out here yesterday and the funeral was today. I really don't think that it's blog worthy subject, but I just wanted to bring y'all up to speed. We are going to be here until Saturday morning.
Moving on the a happier topic ... We are getting the chance to do some touristy things. This afternoon, me, Chris and my two sister in laws went to the arch! When in St. Louis, go to the arch. It was really cool. We rode in the capsules up to the top. I can't wait to get home and post the pictures.
And then tonight, we went to Creve Couer. It's a lake that has a natural spring that make a small waterfall. We also ate dinner at a restaurant called Ponticello's Italian Garden. It was a place that my father in law really loves and said that they have the best pizza. I guess a little back story is needed here. Both my in-laws and my husband were born here in the Lou. My husband lived here until he was 7 and my in-laws had lived here up until that point. So, they are all in the know about St. Louis. So, the pizza at this place was really good. It had thin crust and used some cheese that none of us had ever heard of. But it was very tasty.
This morning we also drove around and saw the house were they all used to live. That was neat to see. Chris was able to find the house without and directions. I can't believe that after 20 years he was able to just drive to it. But I guess you just start recognizing one thing and then another and then you just know where you are. It was neat.
And the weather... I am loving it. It's a little humid, but it's not 3 million degrees like we left Phoenix.
One strange observation about here - People randomly drive on the shoulder of the road. On the highway, on city streets. It's crazy. It must really be an issue, because tonight we saw a sign that said to not drive on the shoulder. If you need a sign every some many yards, people must do it all the time. That's crazy to me.
I am loving that I am getting to spend time with my sister-in-laws. They are awesome. They are 24 and 19 and we get along really well. They think I'm funny. I like people who think I'm funny.
Tomorrow we are going to Forest Park where they held the 1904 Worlds Fair. If you've seen Meet Me in St. Louis you would know about the Worlds Fair and all that. That's my only reference to it. Anyway, the zoo is there and so is the art museum. We are not sure yet what we are going to do there, but I hope it's the art museum. I need to go to bed. I am still really tired from the trip, plus sleeping in a hotel bed takes time to get used to.

how much does it suck to buy clothes for a funeral? real bad

Grandpa is still alive and we can only pray now. But we have been told that it is inevitable and it is only a matter of time. So, we went last night and bought Chris a new black suit. We wanted to just get him a new jacket, because he has plenty of nice black pants, but they didn't have any jackets to fit him that would go with what he has. So, we got him a new suit and some new black shoes. I then went today and bought myself a black dress. I love shopping, but not under these circumstances. I had been looking online for dresses at all the stores that I like to shop in and I finally found one this morning. I then went to the store (Fashion Bug) and hoped that they would have it in stock. They did. I was so happy and so relieved. I really did not want to have to keep looking for a dress. Especially this time of year. There are not many black things to choose from. So, here is the dress:

need some prayers

Chris found out today that his grandfather is in the hospital. He has had cancer for over two years now and they discovered this morning that it has moved into his brain. Apparently he has a DNR and Chris's aunt told Chris's father that it was only a matter of time until he passes away. With his DNR, they are not even giving any antibiotics or anything. Chris's parents are flying out to St. Louis tomorrow, but we are still not sure what we (or Chris) are going to do. My sister-in-laws are going to wait and I am too. But Chris hasn't decided if he is gonna go now or wait.
That sounds really bad, but it's now a reality and we have to deal with it. Chris is still trying to wrap his brain around it and he does not really want to make any decisions yet and I am trying to give him his space. He needs to deal with this in his own way and I know that. So, please just keep our grandpa in our prayers and I'll keep you posted.

Meme: Good things happen in 3's

3 names you go by:
(besides my real name? there are so many...)
- LA
- Becky (see Dr.H's explanation of it)
- Ladybug
- Monk (or Monker)
- the wife
- dear

3 screennames you've had (besides blog pseudonym):
- LAJE
- DaisyDuke
- freakshow

3 physical things you like about yourself:
- my hair
- my teeth
- my toes

3 physical things you dislike about yourself:
- my rolls
- my stinky feet
- my boobs

3 parts of your heritage:
- German
- Irish
- Scottish

3 things you are wearing right now:
- Birks (duh.)
- denim capri's
- maroon shirt that looks like a jersey that says 'Sweet' across the front

3 favorite bands / musical artists:
- John Mayer
- Dave Matthews Band
- Alanis Morissette

3 favorite songs:
- "Lover Lay Down" by Dave Matthews Band
- "That I Would Be Good" by Alanis Morissette
- "Why Georgia" by John Mayer

3 things you want in a relationship:
- support
- understanding
- patience

3 physical things about the preferred sex that appeals to you:
- legs
- butt
- smile

3 of your favorite hobbies:
- surfing the web/blogging
- reading
- shopping

3 things you want to do really badly right now:
- go home
- go to the bathroom
- go to sleep
(in that order)

3 things that scare you:
- guns
- being alone
- ask my husband and he'd say every thing under the sun scares me

3 of your everyday essentials:
- Birkenstocks
- morning soda: Sierra Mist
- cell phone

3 careers you have considered or are considering:
- pop singer (really, who does not want to be one?)
- writer/poet
- mom

3 places you want to go on vacation:
- Paris
- Niagara Falls
- Delaware

3 kids' names you like:
- Katherine
- Benjamin
- Julianna

3 things you want to do before you die:
- have two babies
- go to Paris
- repair some broken relationships

3 ways you are stereotypically a boy:
- I went fishing with my dad
- I'm lazy
- I burp without saying 'excuse me'

3 ways you are stereotypically a chick:
- I love Hello Kitty and Care Bears
- I have big boobs
- I like to shop

3 celeb crushes:
(again, only 3?)
- John Clayton Mayer
- David John Matthews
- Matthew David McConaughey
- Orlando Jonathan Blanchard Bloom
- Vincent Anthony Vaughn
For some reason I like to call boys by their full name. And no, I did not know them all. I only knew the middle name's of the first two. That's what google is for.

got a car?

So, the strangest thing happened yesterday. My father called me and said, "I was thinking about buying you a car." Um, WHAT?!?!?! He went on to tell me that someone from his work knew someone that was trying to sell this car that they inherited and he said he was going to see it that night and if it was in good condition he was going to buy it for me. How can you turn that down? Who in their right mind would? He called me again last night after going to see it and he said that he bought the car. He said that it was in really good condition for being a 1993. So long story short, we went this afternoon and the owner signed the title over to me and I have a "new to me" car. Crazy!
Here is my new car...
It's a Mercury Tracer with pimped out red interior. (It's not really pimped out. I just say that because it's red.)




After getting the title transferred, my dad then did a bunch of maintenance work on the car and totally hooked me up so that it would be good for me to be able to drive to work. It won't last forever (it is over 12 years old), but it was well maintained by the previous owner and it will help us out so much. No more carpooling to work for us. This has got to be one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me. They bought me a car. I just can't get over it. But I love it and I am so happy that I can go and get all sorts of girlie Hello Kitty stuff and decorate MY car!
Edited to add: Dad ...

don't you hate it when...

you get little cuts on your knuckles and have no idea how it happened?
I am sitting here typing and I look at my index finger on my left hand and the damn knuckle is bleeding. Terrific.

Anyway, once I was able to function again yesterday, we accomplished many things. I went to Borders and get the new DMB cd and the new Laurie Notaro book (see side bar)! I was so happy to find it (the book), especially because the other book I went there to buy was no where to be found. We also went to a new Macayo's for us and went to Home Depot. The new Macayo's is worth mentioning, because we used to frequent another one when we lived in our apartment. We frequented it because it was practically across the street. We loved going there. They knew us. Well, it has been awhile since we've been to a Macayo's and then I found one - not nearly as close - but not too far either. And let me say this as my last comment about Macayo's for today... my body's defense system that it had built up for stomaching all that yummy mexican food must have died in the move. I was not a happy camper last night. Neat. TMI, I know.
We also went to Home Depot and picked out a grill. Since we decided not to buy a new oven, we are using the money we had for that to buy a BBQ. My parents are coming over on Saturday to deliver a piece of furniture and let us use my father's truck to pick up the grill. We decided that since my parents are gonna be on a time crunch, that we should pick out the grill first and just pick it up on Saturday. So that's what we did. This is the one we picked out. We also finally ordered our cook top. We had seen it at the Maytag store, but the sales lady there was a total freak, so we didn't want to buy it from her. Home Depot did not have it on display, but the boy had already decided it was the one he wanted and they said they could order it in for us and have it delivered. It does cost for delivery, but they are running a rebate on the delivery so we will get that money back. Way cool. It's being delivered next Friday. Sweet.

At home, feeling bad, I bought a new pair of shoes...



And I also got these in the mail yesterday...

just say no

to 100 degree weather!
It's getting hot and I'm not happy. Check out this forcast.

it's a bad sign...

when you almost throw up while brushing your teeth.
That may be TMI. But when you have a headache like this, it's all you can think about. I put in to go home early, even though I am only here until noon. I didn't want to come in at all, but can't afford to attendance occurrence I would get for calling in sick.

got tickets?

I like that theme I got going with the titles.

Anywhooo. We had another big ol arguement about going to the Alanis show. So, I haven't bought the tickets, yet. The way I feel about it is... I know he doesn't like the music, but I think that he should go because it makes me happy. Go, simply because he loves me and wants to see me enjoy myself. Is that so wrong? But he feels like he does not want to be tortured for 3 hours and "waste" all the money. Seems like a nice little rock and a hard place we got going on. I want to go, but don't want the guilt of knowing that he's miserable. And he doesn't want to go at all, for nothing. He did say, the next day, that he was being an ass about it. But I guess I was being one too. But dammit, I REALLY want to go. I'll keep you posted on what ends up happening.

The onboarding crap is really starting to get on my nerves. There are people who were chosen to do it who get all power trippy about it. Then there are people who use it just to get off the phone and then screw around the whole time. There is this one girl who plugged her headset in to listen to calls with this guy, then she keeps getting up in the middle of the call and walking away to talk to people. Then I have to come over and help him because she is no where to be found. Now, I don't mind helping him, but if she is supposed to be listening to his calls, she needs to actually be doing that and be there to help him. I was helping 3 people at once because she disappeared. this sucks. Then she is standing across the room with her friends and laughing and being dumb. That just drives me nuts. This onboarding thing needs more structure. we are just supposed to stand around do nothing when they have no questions. There needs to be more assigned tasks. having us plug in and listen to the calls is a great idea, but those who are doing it just decided on their own to. no one told them to. There is no structure. augh! I just want to go home and not deal with these people any more. Thank god today is my last day with these people.

got books?

A funny thing happened last night. I was really tired, but I really just wanted to get in bed a read for a little while. Ever have nights like that? Well, all the books are still in boxes. I started to go through some knowing that I had a stack of books that I have not yet read and wanted to find one or the Augusten Burroughs book that I had put on hold for the move. Then I realized that I packed the books based on size and made piles that mixed the unread in with the read ones and it would take me forever to find one that I have not read. I just gave up and watched stupid shit on television with Chris. Then tonight we went to the grocery store and they had a display with best sellers and I noticed a new James Patterson that just came out last week (see side bar). I bought it. I started reading it tonight. I knew that it was coming out soon, but I have been so out of the loop on everything. I also know that another book came out in the beginning of April that I haven't bought yet either. And I haven't gotten the new Laurie Notaro book either! Damn. I think on Thursday I need to take a trip to the book store and get caught up, at least on purchasing. I never want to not have a book to read.

By the way, Luigi's Real Italian Ice is way yummy.

boo hiss

I just realized that I will be onboarding tomorrow night and working from 12:30 to 10:00pm. Why does this matter? THE FINALE OF AMAZING RACE IS TOMORROW NIGHT!!!!!
damn. I know I can tape it and believe me, I will. But I won't get to find out until after I get home and it's already over. That makes me mad and annoyed to no end.

"I guess if I have to go, I will."

...Chris's response to me telling him about the Alanis show.

The conversation went something like this:
Me : There's a show that we need to go to.
Chris : Damn. Who is it this time?
Me : Jason Mraz and Alanis.
Chris : God dammit. No. Not that crap. We aren't even gonna see Moody Blues and you want me to see that crap?
Me : I want to go to Moody Blues. It was you who decided we shouldn't go.
Chris : Yeah, because it costs like $200 bucks. Find someone else to go with you so it only is half the cost.
Me : But I want to go with you. I think we should go to Mooody Blues too.
Chris : Where are you getting all the expendable income? A show is not an appliance.
Me : But we need to have some kind of a life.
Chris : You're gonna do it any way.
Me : I haven't bought the tickets yet.
Chris : I guess if I have to go, I will.

Neat. I'll order the tickets tomorrow. I wondered for about 2 seconds if it was worth listening to Chris complain about it for the next 2 months and the whole time we are there, but then I came to my senses.

does it look fixed to you?

I worked on the template tonight and fixed most of the broken links and pics. Leave me a comment and let me know if you still get broken pics along the side. I would appreciate it. We are having network issues and on my machine, the pics are still not loading, so that's why I need to know if they load for you. Thanks!

you hear it first

Gotta love VH1. They have the new DMB album on streaming audio before the album comes out on Tuesday. I listened to it all weekend. If you want to check it out, here you go.

ah, Mother's Day

I remember it like it was yesterday... Mother's Day, May 11, 1980. I was 2 1/2 years old. We were over at the neighbors house and me and the neighbor boy were riding on his rocking horse. One of those plastic kind with the metal frame all around it. Deadly. Next thing I know, we had fallen off and my leg was severely broken. I spent 19 days in the hospital in traction and was in a full leg cast for I can't remember how long. I am lying about remembering it like it was yesterday. I have very vague memories of it actually. But the memories I do have remind me of what a pain in the ass I was to my mom (and my dad too). I am bringing this up (even though we did talk about it last night) because I want to say thanks.
Thanks to my mom for putting up with me and always taking care of me.
I had written more but deleted it, because I can't sum it up any better than that.

I'm sick, but I'm pretty

Just found out something awesome! I have yet to discuss this with the boy, but as we all know, I tend to get my way. Alanis is coming! I am totally out of the loop. The show is July 16th at the Dodge Theatre. I checked and there are still really good seats available. He is not gonna want to go, especially since he talked himself out of going to see Moody Blues at the same venue because it is too expensive. But I am going, hell or high water. Even by myself, if I have to. I have not been to an Alanis show since 1999. She has not come around anywhere that I have lived since then. This is great news!

edited to add: Just found out the opening act is Jason Mraz! This just gets better and better!

review

Friday we went and saw Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. I did not want to read any reviews before seeing the movie, because I knew that we would see it regardless. Chris is a big fan of the book and the radio show. He really wanted to see it, and he never wants to go to the movies. So, we went and it was cute. There was this really funny part where the went to this planet and every time anyone had a thought, something that looked like a paddle came out of ground and smacked them in the face. It was freaking hilarious. The rest of it was cute and I could follow it for the most part. I love Sam Rockwell and he was super cheesy in it and I dug it. Since seeing the film, I have read reviews and even saw Ebert and Roeper talk about it. What I have been hearing negatively about the movie is that if you are not a fan of the books, etc you cannot really follow it and you are left wondering about a lot of things. The funny thing about that is on the way home after the movie and said to Chris, "I like that they left in references that only fans would understand." They really could have dumbed it down and made it more universal, but they chose not to and for that I give it props. It might not make as much money because of that, but they made a movie that fans like. What is wrong with that? If you see it and are confused, all you need to do is see it with someone who is a fan and have them explain it to you. That's what I did.

bite me

finally

I wanted to add this, because I know I have been difficult for everyone to deal with lately...
I feel good and positive for the first time in a long time. This buying a house and moving and all this has really been getting me down. But now that we are done with the apartment and are making headway at the house, I feel happy and good about the direction in my life. I am glad that I took all this time off work to get settled, even though we won't be done packing by the time I go back to work on Tuesday. I am getting settled and calm and that's what I needed. There was so much turmoil and chaos and now most of that is over and I am able to deal better with what is left.
So, I am relieved and emotionally refreshed, if nothing else.

what a weekend!

Well, we are out of the apartment. Yesterday we finished all the cleaning that we felt like doing and turned in our keys. My sister asked me if I was sad to be leaving the apartment for good and my answer was, "No, not at all." I think that I separated myself from the apartment so long ago that leaving it yesterday was not a big deal. I was sad to be leaving a lot of the places we frequented like the Denny's and my nail place. I will also miss terribly our favorite pizza place, Rosati's. There is one not all that far from our house, but it is not across the street anymore. One funny thing about Rosati's... On the pizza boxes there are these coupons that you tear off and save and once you get 12 of them, you can get one pizza for 1/2 price. Well, we finally saved up enough and on our way out of Scottsdale yesterday, we stopped and got our favorite BBQ Special deep dish pizza for 1/2 price. That was more bittersweet then leaving the apartment. We also thought that we would miss the chinese place next to Rosati's that we frequented, but we found a new place on Friday night, on our new side of town. We just searched online to find a place close and just took our chances. We had it delivered. We mutually decided that we would not go and see the restaurant, even though it's close. We decided this because the food is good and cheap and we don't want to ruin it for ourselves. There are a lot of little family run restaurants in this part of town that are in run down buildings. We assume that this is from a place like that and if we see the place, we might not want to eat the food. So, we are not going to look for it and just enjoy the cheap chinese delivery.
Today was a busy day too. This morning, my dad came over and brought us the rest of the patio furniture that my parents are giving us. They bought themselves new furniture and had already brought over a couple of the chairs before. Today, he brought the rest and a shelving unit that Chris is going to use in the computer room. That was really cool of him to bring it all over. Plus, he brought my the address labels that my mom bought us. Every time either we or my sister move, my mother buys us new address labels with our new address on them. It's like a tradition or something. And with my frequent moves (lived in 4 places in 6 years) it means a lot to know that she will take care of that for me. Then Chris put up the rest of the blinds today. I say that and you assume it was a simple task. I assumed this also and had been giving him a hard time about not hanging them. But this was no simple task. See, our windows are metal framed instead of wood framed. Chris had to do all sorts of research and then buy special tools and drills bits to hang them. It took him all day (and three trips to the hardware store - Ace Hardware: 1 trip, Home Depot: 2 trips) to hang three sets of blinds. Now that they are all up, they look amazing. I had been giving Chris such a had time about the blinds. I had even said that he is spending more time thinking about how to hang them then actually hanging them. I wanted them to be up and I was tired of a drop cloth covering the window. But talking to my mom about it gave me a new perspective. Even though it took forever for him to figure out how to hang them, once it was done, it was done right and good. That is one very good thing about my husband and I am glad that my mom reminded me about that. So, while he was hanging the blinds, I was doing a little unpacking, some organizing (which involves moving boxes to the extra bedroom to be dealt with later) and I cleaned the guest bathroom. I had started cleaning the drawers and cabinets a few days ago, but stopped when I ran out of contact paper for the shelves. I finished all that today, plus cleaned the floor, shower and all that. I also put on a new toilet seat. And let me tell you one thing - when you move, the least you can do is clean the toilet. Apparently the freaks we bought this house from didn't think like that. There was this stain in the bottom of the toilet and I thought for sure that it would not come off and that I would have to use bleach or something to try to remove it. Nope not a stain, just hadn't been cleaned in god knows how long. Came right off with just regular toilet bowl cleaner and toilet brush. Mind you, I am very happy that it came off. But I am just more and more disgusted by the way the people lived in this house. They were filthy. That's the best way I can describe it. That is why I had to clean every drawer and shelf and every last little crevice. Seriously. What was wrong with these people? Anyway. It's done and it looks like a brand new bathroom with a brand new toilet (well, a clean one with a new seat, at least). I still need to go to Target tomorrow and buy more contact paper so that I can fill in the big cabinet. There is this huge cabinet in that bathroom that I am going to use as my linen closet. I have all the linens ready to go inside and that'll get done tomorrow.
Last night, we finished putting together the last of the furniture that we got from IKEA. What we put together is very similar to this. Just imagine the unit without the smaller bookcase to the right of the tv stand and the two end bookshelves are open, meaning no glass or wood doors. Just all shelves. I like ours better than the one they put together. You could have bought that one as one unit, but we parts is parts ours and made it what we needed. I am waiting to load it up with books until we decided exactly where on the wall it will go. Meaning does it need to go more to left or to the right. We need to get rid of some other boxes before we can decide on that. So, it's just empty bookshelves for now. Oh, this is funny. Chris just came in here and told me that he found what is controlled by a switch on the wall in the living room. Apparently everything on the tv stand (tv, stereo, cable box, xbox) that is plugged into a power strip that is plugging into the outlet that is controlled by the switch. Neat. Guess we are moving that one.
Damn, it is getting late. I need to go to bed.

.

i'm back...

Here we are, back online. It's a little ghetto right now with a lot of broken picture links and stuff. But online with problems I guess is better than not online at all!

I have never felt so white in my whole life

Now for those who don't understand, we moved to South Phoenix. South Phoenix is a mainly Hispanic area of town. Now, I am used to mixed neighborhoods and different cultures, but I am still a (REALLY) white girl no matter where I live. Ghetto or barrio. And after last night, there is no denying that. I went to the Kmart across the street from our house and I literally was the only white person in the store. I am not exaggerating. Believe me, if I saw another white person, I would mention it. I just felt like a freak. I was getting all sorts of strange looks. I wasn't acting differently or anything, but I felt very uncomfortable. It's strange to be on the flip side of that. I am sure that is how minorities (for lack of a better word that would sum it up) feel on a regular basis. I feel very comfortable in our neighborhood, despite the strange looks we get, but last night was the first time I've ever experienced something like that.

augh

We moved.
We slept in our house for the first time on Saturday night. I was not a restful sleep. Dogs barking. It just felt weird too. Last night was much better.
I am sick of looking at boxes. I just want it to all be unpacked. I hate feeling like I am living out of a suitcase, or camping - as Chris called it. I sorta set up the bathroom and the bedroom so that we can function, but other than that, we are roughing it. Plus, the cable and internet did not get turned on Saturday like it was supposed to. There is some filter on the line, blah blah blah. They told me that no one needed to be at the house, but apparently the cable guy came to the house on Saturday and no one was home. Well, duh! Whatever. They are coming back on Friday to set it all up and now we have to pay for installation, depending on what they have to do. Bastards. I hate Cox Cable.
I have bruises all over. I bruise so easily. I hardly carried anything, compared to Chris, but I am still hurting. My back was spasming last night and that was neat.
I am so out of it. I just want all this to be over.

good song

I may have been consumed with the move and the house lately, but don't think that I've forgetten about my other favorite blogging subject.
Go here and check out the new Rob Thomas album and listen to the track called Steetcorner Symphony. Think to yourself, "Gee, that guitar playing is really great. I wonder who is playing on that track?" I have your answer. But you can probably already guess, since I am bringing it up in the first place. Yup, Johnny boy. John Mayer. And my favorite part, no mention of featuring John Mayer or anything like that. He just lends his talent and doesn't care about the credit. That's awesome. Here's what Rob Thomas said about the song: "It was written by myself and Matt Serletic, my producer and friend. John Mayer played guitar on it. I think John is one of the most talented guitar players in popular music today. He's such a great singer and songwriter and when you see his live show he tears it up. We both happen to live in the city and we were at a dinner and I said, "Hey you want to come play on my record?" He was like "Yeah, sounds great." It's nice when there aren't managers and labels and people trying to cram artists together so it can be marketed like "featuring this and this guy and this guy."

it's so close now I can feel it

I can feel it in my head. My headache.
We are moving all the big stuff in a UHAUL on Saturday. Thank God Chris has people helping him, because I've already told him that I am not carrying anything down the stairs. I told him I think we should've hired movers. We said that after we moved in over two years ago. But he thinks he can handle it. I almost don't even want to be there while they are moving the stuff, because I don't think I can handle watching someone walk backwards down the stairs carrying the coach or whatever. Plus, the boxes are heavy. They are gonna kill themselves carrying that junk. It's stressing me out. But I am trying to not let it. I will just not watch. But apparently my parents are gonna help too. We wanted to borrow my dad's truck to do some extra moving after we are done with the UHAUL and when I asked my dad, he said that he wanted to help move. Cool. And then my mom is gonna meet us at the house to help get some stuff set up there. That's cool too. The more help the better.
I am going over to the house today to clean the floors before we bring over the big stuff.
We still have to hang most of the blinds. The HUGE blinds for the front window came the other day. We had to special order them and FedEX attempted to deliver them, but we were obviously not there. So we had to go over to the FedEX place and pick them up. Mind you, these blinds are almost 8 feet long, but with the box it's about 10 feet. We somehow managed to get them into our Kia. Again we got to say, "You'd be surprised how much you can fit in a Kia." So after we move in we gotta get all those blinds hung. Right now there is nothing on the windows, but we don't have anything there really. Once our junk is there, we need to cover those windows.
This house is running my life!

I'm pooped.

I like finding things on other people's blogs and then using them on mine. Like the new mood indicator. I like that.
So, I am at work today and it does seem like a relief to be here. We worked so hard on the house all weekend and it's nice to have a break. I am only here until noon today (I am working a half day.), but it is a nice little break. I am really worn out, but I feel sort of refreshed right now. I hope that I can keep up this mood and get out of the sleepiness. I am planning on getting caught up on life today. I have dishwasher and a sink full of dishes that have been there for I cannot remember how long. That's not a good thing when you can't remember when the last time you did dishes. We have been eating fast food all week. It's not that we don't have food in the frig, it's just that fast food is well, fast. Plus, when we are at the house, we have no food there. Anyway, lets get caught up day! Gotta do laundry - haven't done that in two weeks. Gotta do the checkbook and make sure I am not late on any bills. And I gotta pack. We are officially moving next Saturday. I don't have to have everything packed, because we don't have to be out of the apartment until May 1. But I would like to have as much stuff packed as possible so that it can be taken over in the truck. I am trying not to feel pressured with the packing, but that's not really working. Chris went and got more boxes so at least now we can really pack. I have a lot done already, but not enough. AUGH! This is ruining my mood.
I will talk about happier things! Chris (almost) finished the painting. We still have to paint the computer room, but we think we can do that after we move in. All the painting that we wanted to have done before we moved in is done. Hooray. I did finish cleaning all the kitchen cabinets and at least the are better than they were. They did not get really clean, but something is better than nothing. We also bought some of our appliances on Thursday. We got our refrigerator and our dishwasher from Sears. We got smokin deals. The frig was on sale and we got the dishwasher, which was already on sale, price matched from Home Depot. Home Depot had the regular price lower than the Sears sale price. Sweet! We got really nice appliances. I am really glad that we were given the money to be able to do that. Otherwise, we would have had to keep the crappy ones that are there or gotten really cheap ones. So, that's really cool. They are going to be delivered on the 22nd. That means we have to live with the frig we have now for about a week. That'll be ok. The dishwasher that's there does not work - or it works, but I would not want to put anything in it. It's so old and gross. I will be so happy when we have new appliances! YEAH!
Also, my mom and pa came over to the house and helped us tremendously yesterday. They came (and brought me flowers for the yard!) and helped carry out a huge pile of trash that had been growing since we got the house. Old curtains, carpet, blinds. A bunch of crap that we had just been throwing into the middle of the room to not deal with. They helped haul it all to the trash. Then my mom used her carpet shampooer and cleaned the two rooms that have carpet. That helped me, I can't even tell you how much. It would have taken me just as long as it took her to clean, to figure out how to work it and do it right. But since it was hers to begin with, she just swooped in and did it. It saves me almost half a day. I was gonna do that next Thursday and now I don't have to. They also hauled away some other trash in their truck and bought me some more cleaning supplies that I was running out of. All of this was so nice of them and we appreciate it so much.
And on a completely different note - yes, maybe we all should think before we post and/or comment on things that we know that people are sensitive about. That might be a good practice.

I blame everyone else, not my own partaking
My passive aggressive-ness can be devastating
I'm terrified and mistrusting and you've never met anyone
Who is as closed down as I am sometimes

- Everything by Alanis Morissette

So, I am passive aggressive, huh? Interesting. I know that is true, but really isn't being passive aggressive better than being aggressive? Whatever. I was upset and chose to deal with it in that way. (here I go again...) We all can't be perfect. I'll stop now because this is definately not the forum for this.

this is what I'm talking about!

.

Family having fun without me!
I've covered the face to protect the innocent. hehe.

and as if that wasn't enough...

As I was leaving work today, I got a message from the apartment complex manager. It said something like this: Your water heater was leaking and flooded the apartment below yours. We had to go into your apartment and shut off the electricity so that we could go into your laundry room and replace your water heater. Some of the things in your laundry room had to be moved so they could get to the water heater and they didn't put everything back, so those things are just stacked around. Call us. Ah, WHAT!?!?!?! Yup. That's really what happened. All the things they moved were piled on top of the washer and dryer. Now, other than having to move the crap to do laundry, this was a blessing in disguise. We had stuff piled all around the water heater for storage and I looked at it all the other day and was dreading having to get down there and clean that all out. Now, I don't have to at least do that. But still, it was the last thing I needed today...

a life less ordinary

Watching the Cameron Diaz's show, Trippin, the other night reminded me of the movie, A Life Less Ordinary. I love that movie. Although the movie has nothing to do with what is happening in my life right now, I think the phrase itself certainly applies. Life seems to be so chaotic, but I am getting used it. I am not a fan of the craziness, but I am slowly trying to catch up with my own life. I am way outside of my "norm" but when I look around, I am really not lacking what I normally have. This might not make sense. I don't think I'm explaining it right, but whatever. Anyway. Blah Blah Blah.
I am bummed that we have so much to do at the house this weekend, because the Phoenix Film Festival is this weekend I would really like to go. This year looks interesting. They are doing a tribute to Kevin Bacon. Who wouldn't want to see that? Plus, they are showing a movie called, Happy Endings with Maggie Gyllenhaal and Lisa Kudrow, that looks decent. I would just want to go mainly because I've never been. And also because it is close to our apartment. Next year it will seem really far from home and out of the way to go. Whatever.
house junk...
Chris spent all weekend prepping the house for paint and painting our bedroom. I had picked this Ralph Lauren paint in a suede texture that looked neat. He bought the paint and when he read the directions and realized he needed twice as much paint that you would normally need. It takes one coat primer and one coat of the paint rolled on and then a second coat of paint brushed on by hand in an X pattern. That gives it the suede look. It took him a long time. He's quite a trooper. He finished the bedroom last night around 9pm and it looks AWESOME! He did such a good job on it. I feel bad that I picked it out without realizing how difficult it would be. But being the former pro-painter that he is, he managed. We (who am I kidding, he's the one painting!) have the rest of the house to still paint, but he is glad that it's just "regular" painting. We are going to do a Mondrian design wall on one of the walls in the computer room. At first we were going to do the whole room that way, but then decided it would be too much. So, we are going to do the wall with the window that you first see when you walk in the room. It will look neat. We went back and forth with ideas of what to do in that room. We wanted to do something different and cool and that's what we finally agreed upon. We (again, lying!) are painting all the other rooms too. (so no, we are not just focusing on the computer room! *wink*wink*) While Chris was painting, I started working on the kitchen cabinets. Those things are so nasty. I can't believe that someone would wash dishes and put them into those drawers and cabinets. I guess you just get used to the filth and don't notice it. I just can't imagine that, though. There was contact paper in the drawers and cabinets with orange and yellow mushrooms on it that probably hasn't even been produced in the last 30 years. It was so old and nasty. I still feel gross after pulling it all off. Plus, some of it was so attached that it pulled off pieces of the wood. The cabinets look like a home made job. The dude that owned our house was a real "do it yourselfer" and installed all sorts of junk by himself. And these cabinets look like that. They are not really even finished. I started to wipe them down and remove 40 years worth of junk and they are basically raw wood. Lovely. We are planning on painting them and it looks like that needs to happen sooner rather than later. I am going to put down some self adhesive tile on the shelves and drawers just so that we can use them. It will be better than contact paper. Contact paper, as far as I'm concerned is useless. I hate it. As much as I love this house, the more I am in it, I wonder why we didn't just get a new house. I think it needs so much cleaning that I don't know what to do. Maybe I am nuts about cleanliness, by I am (hoping, praying) planning on bringing a child into this house and I would like for it to be as safe and sanitary as possible. There is no way that I would bring a child in the way that it is now. I know that once I am finished giving it the cleaning that I want (and plan) to, it will be ok. But until then, I am grossed out by my own home. Actually, I am grossed out by both places I live. My apartment is driving me nuts because it is in a strange place of packed and not packed. Too many packed boxes to function and not enough packed to make me feel ready to move. I have issues. I am also really not wanting to be at work. I just feel like I have so much to do and work gets in the way. I have to keep telling myself that work makes me able to do these things. But that doesn't seem to help. And then talking to half of my family while they are in Disneyland and I am up to my elbows in nasty contact paper doesn't help. Yes, I am glad they had fun. But damn. I am working my ass off and they are at the happiest place on earth. So yes, I am jealous dammit. Can you blame me? Then I get told things like, "If I wasn't going on this trip, I would help you..." And what am I supposed to do with that information? I know it's supposed to be the thought that counts, but when I am so overwhelmed by all this, I do need the help. I'll stop now. I will try not the hold a grudge, but if you know me at all, you will not believe me when I say that. But I love you still...

dry skin

I am so far behind in blogging. Life finally seems to have some meaning now. I have things that need to be done.
We got the house on Good Friday, March 25th. We signed all the papers on Thursday and it took until Friday night to get the keys. The sellers were dragging their feet getting to signing and the title company too their time getting it recorded with the city. And thank god that the closing costs were not out of control. We could actually pay for it all by ourselves. We have not had to borrow money for any of this house stuff and we are really proud of ourselves.
Anyway, we finally got them and then went crazy. We went to Home Depot on Saturday and spent loads of cash. New locks, handles, blinds, etc, etc. Lots of fun. Then we spent the rest of the day starting to clean and replace the locks. Then on Sunday, I went to work, but came home early cause I could. We went to Home Depot again to rent a floor sander. Chris decided he was gonna rip the carpet out of the computer room and leave the floor concrete. So, we rented the sander and went back to the house to rip up the carpet. Then my parents came over to bring cleaning things, like the power washer and they help a lot. They helped rip up the carpet and helped us clean. That was really nice and made life a lot easier. I had been getting so overwhelmed with all that needs to be done, but having them there calmed me down a lot. We stayed at the house until I dropped. Chris took me home and then went back and stayed until like 2am - the crazy fool. We then both had yesterday off and we slept in a little then went to the house and worked some more. Chris put the sealer on the floor, since he had finished sanding it the night before. I power washed the hell out of the house. This is funny. I was cleaning the back patio walls and Chris came out to see how it was going. He was in shock at the lack of power it had. He then looked at the washer and realized that I, being the brilliant one I am, did not have the motor turned on. When he turned it on, it was awesome. That's a lot of power washing power. It took me a lot less time to do the rest of the walls. I did the walls on the back of the house, the car port and most of the front. I couldn't finish washing the front because the window in the computer room was open and the paint was drying on the floor. I then started to clean more windows. The fool that lived in our house was a terrible painter. When he painted the house he made a mess. There is paint all over all of the windows. I have been going at them with a razor blade and scraping the paint away. The difficulty with this is that there are security wrought iron bars on all the windows and they do not open. I know, I know. Fire hazard. Blah blah blah. Anyway. I have to squeeze my hands between the bars and that's a pain in the butt. So yesterday, after Chris painted himself out of the room, we went back to the apartment and vegged. We are both so worn out. I decided I needed to take a break from heavy duty cleaning tonight and just do some minor packing and stuff at the apartment. I know that if I keep up the pace that we have been doing for the last few days, I will not make it to moving day. That's 3 weeks away. I am thankful that we have all this time to get ready to move. I can take these breaks and not really fall behind on getting things done. As far as I'm concerned, there is a lot left that needs to be done so that we can move in (as far as cleaning). But if think we should be able to pull it off. It's still really overwhelming, but I am trying to relax and enjoy it. It did feel good that all the cleaning I was doing was for our benefit. Cleaning the apartment just feels like we are keeping it nice so that we can get our security deposit back. But cleaning the house is totally different. Plus, I loved watering the trees in the front yard yesterday. I was dragging around the hose to each tree - there are 6 or 7 - when I noticed something neat. There were sprinkler heads. I went back to where I had attached the hose and found the things to turn them on and THEY WORK! We have functioning sprinklers. That made my day. Why is that so cool to me? Maybe because they are MY sprinklers? But I think because it will make life a lot easier when we finally put in a yard. I know all the trouble that my father has had with sprinklers in the past, so having functioning ones is neat to me.
ok, shut up.
Damn, I can't. I just realized I never explained the title to this post.
The skin on my hands is so dry from all the cleaning supplies.
Damn, that was anticlimactic.

my crazy life

I just want life to calm down and be normal. Is that too much to ask?

Today is the first day in two days that I can touch my legs without cringing. They are so pink and they still hurt, just not as bad.

Last night was our final walk thru. Final my ass. Aren't the sellers supposed to be there? Were they? No. Nobody home. Just a pile of keys on the kitchen counter. It was a fun game to figure out what key was for what door. We gotta get that place re-keyed. Each door has a different key and we never found the key for the front door. At least they repaired all the things they were supposed to from the inspection. The only thing that is still an issue is that the seller says that the evap cooler DOES work, but we have not been able to get it to work. The seller was supposed to show us how to work it, but that has not yet happened. Our agent said that he was gonna talk to the listing agent to make arrangements for the seller to show us how it works or fix it. That's really frustrating. The air conditioner works too, but the thermostat needs to be replaced. It's tricky to get it to come on. But the air works. That's what matters. We checked everything to make sure it all still works and is in good condition. They are mostly moved out. There are a few things here and there. The car and RV were still in the backyard, but as we were leaving some people came saying they were there to pick up the car. What that told me is that we FO SHOW need to change the locks on the back gate. Cuz we had locked the gate and were in the house. NEAT. We'll get on that. And they (meaning title company and agent) are saying that we should be able to close either today or tomorrow. I don't know why they want to rush it, but they are and I guess that's cool. As long as it's all done correctly, it makes no difference to me when we close. But I still do not know the final amount for our closing costs. I am praying to God that we have the funds. Especially since they are rushing this thru and we won't have a lot of notice to get the money together. That is what is driving my THE MOST crazy. I can't deal with not knowing this. I just wanna scream about it. About the whole thing.

Plus, I am still feeling freakin sick. I woke up coughing like no other last night.

I just want to go home and lay down. But I know that will not happen because we are at the beckon call of the title company. If they call and say it's a go, I have to pick Chris up and go.
WWWWWWWWAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

thank god for aloe vera

I went to work today, even though I came home sick from work yesterday. I went because I was only scheduled to be there for 4 hours. Today was the day of the spring training baseball game that my team was going to. I really wanted to go and so I decided to tough it out and go. I told myself that I would only go to the game for a little bit. I ended up staying for about 2.5 hours. We were so far away on the lawn seats that you couldn't see a damn thing. The best thing that was going on was this sluty chic in front of us who was hanging all over a group of like 8 guys. She would let them take pictures up her shirt and down her shirt. She clearly had no bra on. She was laying on top of one guy and then hugging on another. She even gave the beer selling guy her phone number. That was much more exciting to watch than the game. After a while though, I just started to feel worse and worse. Being in the heat and the sun blazing down. I totally spaced on the fact that it would be sunny. I had worn capris because I knew it would be warm, but did I think at all about sunburn? Nope. I'm an idiot. I borrowed a hat from someone to protect my poor scalp, but my legs are nice and crispy. My arms got some burn too, but nothing compared to my legs. It hurts really bad, even after putting the aloe vera on. And the support that I get from my family? Things like, "...another thing to complain about" and "...another thing to bother you." I can feel the love.

my doll. Only one question: Why only one choice for body type? lots of noses, eyes, even face shapes, but only one body. Needless to say, my body looks nothing like this.

yes, I'm a freak

So I was almost late for work today.
And why would that be, you ask?
Did you sleep late?
Did you have car problems?
Nope.
I hate to admit this, but I've gone this far...
I was watching New York Minute on HBO. Shoot me now.
Why is that crap entertaining to me? It really was bad. But it's like a wreck. I just couldn't look away. I eventually just had to leave and so I did not get to see the end. Dr. Drew from Loveline is their father. That's odd. Ah, whatever.
I'm a freak.

House Update

Our final walkthru is scheduled for Wednesday, the 23rd at 6pm! Holy crap! That means this is really happening. It really hasn't seemed real until the last few days. I just can't stop thinking of things that I want to do to the house and things that we will finally be free of. The other night I dropped something heavy on the floor and had to deal with the guilt of knowing the freak show who lives in the apartment below us was disrupted. No more of that. No more carrying groceries up stairs. No more stairs period. I could go on for days. But I won't.

This week is gonna be hectic. On Monday, Chris is going to the OC for work. His office is based there and he is going to work on some computer networking issues that they are having. He is just the bomb and they need to start paying him what he's worth. But I think they have realized that. He has been giving so many opportunities lately, with this trip on Monday and all the trips to Vegas. I really think they are started to appreciate him and isn't that what we are all looking for in our jobs?
And on Tuesday, I am going to a spring training baseball game. The field where the Angels have spring training, Tempe Diablo Stadium is really close to where I work, so my boss bought us all tickets and we are all going as a team building thingy. The Angels are playing the Diamondbacks and the game is at 1:05pm. So we all get to leave work early and we are walking over to the stadium together. It should be really fun. I am looking forward to it. Then we have the walk thru on Wednesday and I have a feeling that we are going to be meeting sometime this week with the title company. We are still waiting on the final numbers from them for closing. We are down to the wire on this. And if all goes well, we will have keys to our house next Monday!

brackets update

As predicted, I did not do as well with the second day of the first round. After all 32 games were played, I ended up getting 21 correct and 11 wrong. With those, I am now out 3 of my picks for the sweet 16. Damn. But all the teams I really wanted to win did, so that's what is most important. The U of A game is in an hour and the Cincy vs Kentucky game is tonight. LOVE MARCH MADNESS!!!!

How do your brackets look?

So far there are 8 games played in the Men's NCAA Tournament. And of those 8 games, I am 8 of 8 on my picks! WOO HOO. I even managed to pick Wisconsin Milwaukee to beat Alabama. I'm good. After tonights games, I might not be so happy. But for now, I'm good! Not that I will win anything from this, but I like knowing that I can pick 'em!
GO BEARCATS!
and go wildcats & spartans too!

I love my reality TV

I have two favorite reality shows on right now. And no, one is not Survivor. I am so over that show. It's not even good anymore. Although, I was flipping last night and noticed they were doing something cool on Survivor. They had the other tribe voting on who they thought should get immunity from the tribe at tribal counsel. That was a neat twist. But anyway.
I am obsessed with my two shows...

The Amazing Race
What a kick ass show! I was concerned about having Rob and Amber from Survivor on this season because it was such a disaster the last time they have reality "stars" on the show. Remember Allison from Big Brother? I thought not. Anyway. I LOVE ROB & AMBER! I hated them on Survivor All-Stars and all the crap afterwards with them getting engaged and whatnot. But they are really great players. I am very impressed. He managed to not only quit doing a roadblock challenge, but convince other people to quit too so that there was no chance of them being eliminated. It was crazy. So crazy that my mother and I both called each other at the exact same time to talk about it. I called her house and got a busy signal, then hung up the phone and it rang. It was funny.

America's Next Top Model
Oh my god BECKY! Literally! Does anyone else watch this show? Last night, this contestant named Rebecca was at judging and she was standing there while the judges talked about her photograph. She passed out! Flat on her damn back. They had to call an ambulance and take her to the hospital. Turns out she has some condition that she's had her whole life that causes this to happen. It was crazy. So crazy that the played her passing out again after the came back from commercial. Totally instant replay. I love this crap.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Get to Know your Blogging Buddies

And you thought I had a life. You would be wrong. She wanted it, she got it...

1. IF YOU COULD BUILD A SECOND HOUSE ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD IT BE?
In Paris, with a view of the Eiffel Tower.

2. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE ARTICLES OF CLOTHING?
jeans and Birkenstocks

(Edited to add): 2a. LEAST FAVORITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING? bras

3. THE LAST CDs YOU BOUGHT?
Seriously? Damn. I don't buy music anymore. Lemme think. I can't remember the last CD I bought, but the last CD I GOT was Songs About Jane by Maroon 5.

4. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
no more than 9 hours after I go to bed. If I sleep longer, I get a migraine. And we all know how pleasant I am with a migraine.

5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE?
yuck. none. well, I'll have to agree with Dr.H on the dishwasher.

6. IF YOU COULD PLAY AN INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
well, I did play an instrument. Alto Sax and I was 3rd chair, damn it!

7. FAVORITE COLOR?
at the moment, taupe and sage. they are the colors that I am gonna use in the master bedroom in our new house! normally though... red, purple, green

8. WHICH VEHICLE DO YOU PREFER, SPORTS CAR, MOTORCYCLE, OR SUV?
none. sports car - too fast and scary. motorcycle - dad fall down go boom. suv - gas guzzling mother f@#$%&s. I'll keep my little sedan thank you very much.

9. DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE AFTERLIFE?
sure. I can't wait to see some friends.

10. FAVORITE CHILDREN'S BOOK?
Ramona the Pest by Beverly Cleary. I thought I was just like Ramona.

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON?
Spring. Right now in Arizona it's so gorgeous. It'll only be this way for another couple weeks, but man it's nice.

12. IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT?
In order of acquisition - Daisy on left ankle, Heart on lower back, Ladybug on top of right foot.

13. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPERPOWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
telekineticly clean my house

14. CAN YOU JUGGLE?
no. But they tried to teach us in my special PE class in high school. Being overweight, they put me in PE with the, how can I say this without being mean???, "slower" students. We got to do random things like learn to juggle while the "normal" kids got to run around and play sports. Shit, I'm not complaining.

15. ONE PERSON/PEOPLE FROM YOUR PAST YOU WISH YOU COULD GO BACK AND TALK TO?
There is more than one.
Tarah. Referencing question #9. If I knew my time with her would be so short, I would talk to her forever. It's been 8 years since she died and it still seems like yesterday.
Robert. I would want to help him and make sure he's happy.
Ryan. I would explain a lot of things and say that I am sorry.

16. WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED?
Another lovely trait I've acquired from my mother - empty gift boxes. And blankets.

17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DAY? Friday.

18. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SUSHI OR HAMBURGER?
Hamburger. never have and never will eat sushi.

19. FROM THE PEOPLE WHO NORMALLY READ YOUR BLOG, WHO IS THE MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND FIRST? probably no one. but whatever.

20. ON WHICH BLOG DID YOU FIND THIS MEME?
Dr. H's (but, am I dumb to not know what a MEME is?)

21. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLOWER? daisies.

23. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MEAL?
Grilled Caribbean Salad from Chili's. especially now that I can't eat it!

24. DESCRIBE YOUR PJS.
usually just long t-shirt nightgowns

25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BREAKFAST?
mmmm, donuts

26. DO YOU LIKE YOUR JOB?
sure. It's the highest paying one I've ever had, so I can't really complain.

27. WHAT IS YOUR DREAM JOB?
Not having one and/or being a mother

28. WHAT AGE DO YOU PLAN TO RETIRE?
Well, if the answer to the last question ever comes true...

29. WHERE DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE OR SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
Long story. Short answer - church at age 16. At the end of April that will be 11 long years ago.

30. SOMETHING YOU WOULD LIKE TO DO THAT YOU HAVE NEVER DONE BEFORE.
Own a house - oh, wait. Something else - go to NYC with my sissy.

what do dreams really mean?

Last night I had a dream that I really don't want to admit to. Not because it's nasty or anything. But because I don't like that I dreamt about it. I had a dream that my grandma died. She was in the hospital last week, so that was obviously on my mind. But I still don't like that I had a dream about it. Weird that we had watched Nightmare on Elm St that is all about dreams and then I had a dream about death. In my dream I don't know how she died, but it wasn't tragic or anything. I know that my dad will be upset reading about this, but I wanted to put it out there just so that I would not feel so bad about my dream.

She wants your boots!

I just thought about this again! And I am cracking up all by myself.
The other day, Chris called me from work because he was bored. He told me that I need to entertain him the way that I entertain my family. I told him that I couldn't because he doesn't think I'm funny. He would not have laughed at half the things that happened that day. At least some people think I'm funny.

1, 2 Freddy's coming for you...

Can you believe that Chris has not seen ANY of the Nightmare on Elm St's? I couldn't either! Last night we watched the first one. It was on Bravo. I love those movies. I'll admit when I first saw them, I was scared to death. But now, they are just so funny to me. I remember bonding with my sister over those movies. She liked them and because she did, I did too. I wanted to be just like her back then. Even though the movies scared me, I watched them to be cool and to be like her. NEAT!

Anyway, I am having a major anxiety attack right now. I am thinking of every possible thing that could go wrong with closing on our house. Everyone I've talked to and everything I've read says that you will pay more at closing then you think or then you've been told. This is really what's freaking me out. On Thursday, we have to give our loan officer proof that we have enough funds available to pay closing costs. From what she's told us, we should have enough. But if everyone else is right, we might be short. We are trying to do this on our own and not borrow money (not that there's anything wrong with that - because that might end up happening). So, I've been freaking about that. Then I go and read my stupid horoscope for Thursday and this is what it says:
Don't be depressed by financial shortfalls, and advise the others the same. Just because you can't do what you want now doesn't mean you never will.
WHAT!?!?!? That does not help! I keep telling myself that horoscopes are never true and they are against my damn religion, but I can't stop thinking about it. I hate this. I think that I have been rather calm about this whole home buying process up until now. I am normally a person who freaks out at the littlest things and I am always stressed out. But I have been relaxed about this house, for the most part, because Chris has been taking care of most of it. But it's getting closer and closer to becoming reality and I can't stop myself from wigging! I keep telling myself to calm down, but it's not working. I've given myself a headache. Shit.

yikes

Has anyone seen this new Britney video and/or heard the song? I feel visually assaulted after watching it.

one word

migraine

Chris wanted me to share this...

He found this article on the internet and wanted me to post the picture that goes with it. You need a dirty mind like ours to get why it's funny. It's all about the angle.

we all live in a yellow submarine...

That's the song in my head right now. It was on the radio on the way in to work.
Neat.

Things on my mind:
- Even though I like to find out about the lives of people I used to call my friends, it really gets to me. I found out last night that one of my old friends is getting married next week. Not only that, but another one of my old friends who is in the wedding is already married. Great for them. I know I am no longer part of their lives, but I sometimes wonder why. I know I moved away and I know I am not the best person at keeping in touch. (Actually, I suck at it.) I am trying to just be happy for them. But maybe it would be better if I didn't know.

- Don't you hate it when you are waiting for something, then you get teased like it's about to happen, but it still hasn't yet? It's like enough already! Happen if you're going to. Damn.

- We went to Home Depot last night and spent like 2 hours going through the store and saying things like, "We'll need that." Random things that we don't own that we will need to now that we have a house. A weedwhacker! We need a weedwhacker. That's cool, right? A wheelbarrow. Oh, we need one of those. Plus, we were looking at paint colors and all sorts of good stuff. We had to price new door locks. We have 6 doors that need new locks. Great. We are gonna be poor for a long time. All the extra money we have will have to be spent on house crap. That's cool though, I suppose.

To bring you up to date on the house:
- Friday was the termite inspection and it passed.
- We had submitted the request to the seller to repair certain items from the inspection report. We got a list back of the things that they will repair and the things that they won't are not a big deal. So, that worked out well. I was concerned that they wouldn't fix anything. And the biggest thing to me is that they are going to get the chimney cleaned. Thank god. Who knows how much that would have cost us!
- We are still waiting for the appraisal. Chris talked to the loan officer Monday of last week and she said that we should know by the end of this past week or Monday (tomorrow). I feel like it's all still up in the air until we find out about the appraisal.
- We have to have the funds to cover closing in the checking account by like the end of next week. I am pretty sure that will work out. I know that we have the money by the time we have to write the check, but having proof of it a few weeks ahead of time might be tough.

to my dad!

This is totally random

but its something that has been driving me nuts for a really long time. Back in like 2000, I saw an interview with John Mayer and he was talking about this condition that he had. It has been driving me nuts ever since, because I could not remember for the life of me what it was called. And the strange thing is that now that he is much more popular, he does not talk about it. There are subtle things here and there that if you knew he had this condition you would understand. Anyway. Today I found out what it's called! His condition is called synaesthesia and its a condition where he associates one sense with another. Like sound with color. He hears sounds and associates a color with that sound. It's kinda cool. They say that a lot of musicians and really creative people have it. The reading that I have been doing on it says that it's just a genetic condition and it's not a big deal. It's not gonna kill you or anything. So, the now that you understand his condition, I feel like sharing a couple of his subtle references to it. One is that liner notes to the Heavier Things album. There are color charts all over it. Colors assigned to each state that he wrote a certain song in. The same goes for the concert t-shirts from the spring tour last year. Each state that the tour went to is a different color. And the most well know reference is the first line to the to song Bigger Than My Body. The line is: "This is a call to the color blind. This is an IOU." Get it now? I always understood the line, but I am sure there are millions who have no clue that line means. Now you do.
Damn, I wasn't supposed to write about JCM anymore. Opps. Oh well.

to my husband

didn't get picked

I had to appear for jury duty today and after a long day (at least it seemed long!) I did not get picked. One cool thing about not getting picked is that I was able to go online and find out about the case. And damn, it would have been cool!! This is the trial. There were only 4 defendants that were actually on trial. Here is another article about the case. Seriously! BLACK MARKET BABY FORMULA! That would have been an awesome case. The judge asked us if we had heard anything about the case after he read the defendants names and charges. He didn't say anything about black market baby formula. If he had, I would have remember the case. Whatever. It's over now. I do still have to be on call, though. I have to check each weekend to see if I have to appear again. Joy of joys.