HAPPY HALLOWEEN

glee

I have yet to discuss on here, my overwhelming love for the show Glee. I will freely admit that I am obsessed with it. However, I really try hard not to read or watch any spoilers. I like to go into the show fresh; not knowing what will happen. However, I came across a clip from next weeks episode and I just had to watch it.

**stop here if you do not want any spoilers**

I had to watch it, because it is Puck singing Sweet Caroline. You heard me! I am so in love with Mark Salling. Puck is my favorite character. He needs to be developed more. I know there are so many characters that its tough to develop them all. Anyway... watch.
This clip brings up many questions... Why does it appear he is singing it to Rachel? Does Quinn really have feelings for him? AUGH!! I never should have watched this, because now I want to search around and find out more. But I will use all my will-power to not do that. I can wait until Wednesday. Can't I?

daily dose of hotness

In honor of his birthday, I am bringing back my daily dose of hotness. Hotness does a body good. This is the cover art for the new album. It comes out a month from tomorrow. Enjoy the view.

Happy 32nd Birthday, Johnny.

i'll be joining that club in 16 days.

who wants to buy me these?

I am obsessing over these clogs. Not like I need more clogs, but these are too cute. Need to own. These need to be mine.

today

Yesterday was bad, but today is a joyful day.
Not only is it the birthday of John Mayer, but it is also the birthday of gorgeous, little Scarlett Aurora Logan.
She was born the day after my miscarriage. From death comes new life. She is my little angel. So, happy 3rd birthday Scarlett.

yesterday

It is so much easier to just sleep thru October 15th and that is what I did yesterday. I stayed up until about 5am, then slept all day been up since about 4pm yesterday. Gonna try to stay awake all day today, so that I can sleep tonight. That should get me back on track.
Sleeping thru yesterday means I did not deal with it. I ignored it. I know that is not healthy, but I think it will get easier over time. I cannot forget waking up around 3:15am on October 15, 2006. I miscarried. It was my first pregnancy and after only 7 weeks it was over. It was the worst day of my life. So this year I chose to ignore it. Not dwell in it. Just skip the day completely. It will get easier, right?

what did i do to deserve this?

Both videos in the same day? Seriously!
Someone take my blood pressure.

Jason Castro - Let's Just Fall in Love Again



John Mayer - Who Says

bleh

Since its tomorrow, I can say that I had a bad day yesterday. I had trouble falling asleep and so I didn't wake up until 3pm. I hate that. I end up getting nothing done. I feel so shitty about it that I just end up doing nothing. When I get up in the morning, I feel like I have time to get going and do things. But not yesterday. I am not making much sense and it feels like a bunch of excuses. I know. I know. I just have a hard time shaking the feelings. It was just a bad day. I try to have fewer and fewer of them.

This post is pointless. Going to shut up now.

how you deal

Good things will happen. Bad things will happen. Sure, you have some control over these things happening. Like don't put yourself in dangerous situations and the likelihood of something bad happens, decreases. Same with the good. But what is more important than all that is how you react to the situation. You need to appreciate when the good things happen. And when the bad things happen, you have to work thru it. You can't let it destroy you. It's all about how you deal. From the largest to the smallest situation.
Trust me, I do not have my shit together. But I have been learning how to function and not let situations control me. I may not be able to stop something from happening, but I can control how I react. One important thing, though... ignoring it and pretending it didn't happen is not dealing with it. The only way out is through.

fear

I choose to not live in fear. I have many reasons why I could be fearful every single day. But for the first time in my life, I am making the conscience decision to not allow this fear to consume me. I am not naive. I understand the danger of the world. What will happen, will happen whether or not I am afraid or not. I feel like this is a sign of strength. I am not allowing those who try to make me afraid, succeed. Be aware, alert, hesitant and cautious. But not afraid.

alrighty then

So changing the blog took a lot less time than I thought. I found a layout that I like very quickly. I like it now. I might hate it in the morning... er, later today. Thoughts on the new look?

towards the future

I have been debating a lot lately over whether or not to keep this blog. I figured that I am always posting on twitter or facebook, why keep this update too? I had to decided to dump it after all these years. But tonight, I had a change of heart. I decided that instead of dumping the whole thing, I would revamp it. Give it a face lift. More like a major over-hall. My plan for the next couple days is to make this blog more me. Not that it wasn't me before, but it needs to be the me I am today. I hope that if anyone still reads this, they will be ok with the change. I need to make this a place I am more comfortable writing. I need to write more. I need to use more than 140 characters to express myself. And I already have this place, so I'm gonna make it cozy and start using it again.