homeless... at least for now

Everyday for almost two months, I have met my friends online and talked all night long. But tonight will probably be the first night I haven't. Why? Our thread/section of the forum that we post in is being shut down. It is kinda complicated as to why, but let's just say, some other forum members signed a petition to get us kicked off. The administrator's hands were tied. We knew that we were hanging by a thread, because a couple weeks ago, we got moved. But now it is over. So... my closest friends and I met online last night and decided the thing to do was to start our own forum. That way we can be ourselves and no one can kick us off. This ousting will be the 3rd place we have been kicked out of. It makes no sense to me either. But I guess you will have that. So, I have taken on the task of getting the new site and forum set up. Of all of us, I am the one with the most technical knowledge. Actually, most of my knowledge comes from Chris and I have begged him to help me to at least get the domain and host set up. I think I can manage it once it's set up. He made a temporary forum last night, so I feel good that we can make this work. We are so excited. We are sad to leave the place that we have called home for a long time. But this time, we are excited, not mad. Our little crew has really become like a family and we need our own home. We have grown larger than the old forum can handle. The way I tried to explain it to people is that as you grow up, you need to leave the nest and branch out on your own. That is what we are doing. We are forever going to be the black sheep of the dreadhead family (oh, yeah. This is still the Jason Castro boards I am talking about.), but we are moving out of their house. I know it doesn't make a lot of sense to most people. I cannot really make you understand. I have tried too hard to make people understand and it still does not work. But I have made the greatest friends and we enjoy each others company. Anyway... I have a lot of work ahead of me and I am sure, a lot of fighting with Chris... but it will be worth it. Maybe I will share it when it's done... or maybe not. Gotta keep some secrets...

i need to own this

Hello Kitty cactus!!!

some things just need to be said...

I wear their face on top of my face
I am the perfect target screen
For your blindly fueled rage
I bare the brunt of your long buried pain
I don't mind helping you out
But I want you to remember my name

It's not all me
It's not all my fault
I may remind you, but I won't take it all on

Past riddled rage
I see the buttons I engage
With my dignity in place
I'm all too happy to assuage

It's not all me
It's not all my fault
I may remind you, but I won't take it all on

Lest I find my voice
Find the strength to stand up to you
Lest I stay to my limit
And only take on what is mine to

We are a team
I'm here to help mend and re-seam
All I trigger unknowingly
A job I hold in high esteem

It's not all me
It's not all my fault
I may remind you, but I won't take it all on

It's not all me
It's not all my fault
I may remind you, but I won't take it all on
I'll only take some of it

song in my head 06/08/08

9 In The Afternoon by Panic! At The Disco

this is what it's like when your parents get old

Because life was just calming down... more drama!

On Sunday night, my mom called me and said that my father fell and was on his way to the hospital. He broke his right arm and injured his hip. The bone actually broke thru the skin. I immediately left home and drove to the hospital. When I got there, he was still in the trauma room and his arm was not wrapped up yet. I saw it in all its glory. Ultimately, he ended up having emergency surgery on his arm. It was a compound fracture. He had a plate and 6 screws put in one bone and a wire thru the other to try to force it heal. He also micro-fractured his right hip. He has to keep his weight off of it and it should heal on its own. He was lucky it was not a major hip fracture! I was at the hospital until 4:30am on Monday morning. I stayed with my mom until my dad got out of surgery. The sun was up when I got home. It was a horrible situation. He was in the hospital until today. He did not come home, though. He was moved to a live-in rehab place. He is having trouble sitting up and walking because of the hip. So, they decided that rehab is the best thing for him. As much as he wants to go home, there is no way that my mom could give him all the help he needs. Not that she doesn't want to, but she just can't. He needs full time attention until he is up and walking again. Getting out of the hospital is a good thing. It's progress. But only time will tell in the whole recovery. He is gonna be out of work for a long time.

The whole thing really sucks. As my sister said today, this is what it's like when your parents get old. We both feel so helpless for different reasons. I feel bad that I live close and haven't been able to visit him more and she feels bad that she lives so far away and can't visit him. There really isn't anything we can do. But it's really hard to see your parent in the hospital. It makes me feel so old and helpless.

hi. my name is laura and i am a castroaholic

song in my head 06/05/08

Fragile - words by Sting - sung by Jason Castro
I had the spanish part in my head all day, on repeat. I hate when that happens. Its just a part of the song, over and over. Love the song and the singer, but that gets annoying.

stuff and junk

The glucose test was basically painless. Took blood. Had to drink this sugar stuff. It was like flat orange soda with tons of sugar added. It made me sick, because it was sooo much sugar and I am not really eating much sugar anymore. Plus, I was fasting so it was on an empty stomach. After drinking the stuff, I had to sit in the waiting room for 2 hours. I had rented a movie and watched it on my ipod. Thank goodness I did that. I helped the time fly by. I watched P.S. I Love You. I was good, but super sappy. I had to stop myself from crying in public. So, after waiting 2 hours, they took my blood again and then that was it.

I weighed myself yesterday. Lost 5 more pounds. That means since February, I have lost 18 pounds. Not a lot, but slow and steady wins the race. I have more changed the way I eat. I still eat most of what I want, just much less of it. This weight loss also accomplished going below a major number. I am so happy to be below that number, it's not even funny.

Saw SATC the movie yesterday. Loved it. I said to my mom before it started, that I was gonna be bummed when it was over. She didn't understand. What I meant was that I will want more and I doubt there will ever be more. I loved that show so much and I never want it to end. I want to stay involved in these womens lives. I know they are not real, but you feel like they are. The movie was cute. It was surprisingly long. There were a few parts that dragged along, but it was worth seeing.

I AM KEEPING THE LAPTOP!!! I borrowed my dad's laptop for our trip to Cincinnati. I have been using it ever since. I love having it and never wanted to give it back. So yesterday, my dad said that we would sell it to us for a great deal. We could not pass up the opportunity to get a laptop at a great price, so we are buying it. I am so happy and so thankful to my dad for allowing us to buy it. YEAH!!!

The new NKOTB song is REALLY BAD! They sound good, but the song is sooo dumb.

The new hotness concert DVD, Where The Light Is: John Mayer Live In Los Angeles, comes out on July 1, 2008. (That will be an awesome day for me. JM DVD and Idol concert in the same day!!) Already pre-ordered it on amazon.

just for good measure...

song in my head 05/29/08

Bubbly by Colbie Caillat
I've been awake for a while now
You've got me feelin' like a child now
'Cause every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tingles in a silly place

Nope. Doesn't make me think of anyone at all...

tomorrow...

Duh! Sex and the City opens tomorrow and heck yeah, I will be there. Tomorrow morning, I have a glucose tolerance test. It was ordered by the endo to see if I am pre-diabetic. That means I gotta fast. The test will take 2 hours. I have to go at 8:00am. I have a movie loaded into my ipod to watch, but I bet I will end up falling asleep. I have been up late every night this week and I am sooo tired. I even snooze between calls at work. Those pesky customers keep interrupting my nap time. So, after the test, the momma is coming over and we are going to the movie. I am looking forward to it. It has been a very strange week. I am glad its over. Now if I could just get some sleep... Oh right, I slept in until 12:30pm on Sunday! Yikes! hehe

um... hello there

the sleeve has grown on me... loving it now! Oh and did you know he had the 77 tattoo just for me? Or at least that's what I like to tell myself.
source

edited to add: speaking of the hotness... MY TICKETS ARRIVED TODAY! woo hoo

www.rockwalllovesjason.com

edited to add:
how cute! His brother & sister were there at the parade.

source

song in my head 05/26/08

Leavin' by Jesse McCartney
Let me take this moment to include my disclaimer - Just because the song is in my head, does not mean I like the song. It does not mean I dislike it, either. Songs just stick in my head and I have no control over it.

there are no words

song in my head 05/24/08

The Space Between by Dave Matthews Band

a cute baby. why not?

It's been a while since I have gotten any new photos of our friends baby... well, she's not really a baby so much anymore. She is 19 months old now. She is just too darn cute not to share... I am just so glad to see that she is happy.
Love this kid.
Scarlett Aurora, age 19 months

quick reminder

The American Idols are going to be on Larry King Live tonite and Monday! It's a 2-parter. Not sure who will be on which night, but watch (or record) them both, just in case.

"you don't feel any different, do you?"

That is what my sister asked me today. As of today, I have been taking the anti-depressants for one week. The doctor told me that it would take at least 4 weeks to get the full effect. I was never expecting a miracle cure. I know that I have to work thru my issues and that popping a pill won't do the trick. I think that I am in an ok place in my life right now (way better than I have been in the last couple months) and so I am not all that depressed. I think that I need to stick it out with the pills for awhile and see what they can really do. I feel like my emotional state is a roller coaster. And no, its not only PMS associated. I know the difference. The doctor basically forced me to prove to him that my depression is not only PMS associated. That made me a little mad. I go thru peaks and valleys, but they are not that easily explained. Anyway. I am still waiting, but not giving up hope.

this is nuts

As I write this, it is raining and 64 degrees outside. Why does this matter? Well, on Monday it was 110 degrees outside at almost this same time. This is the strangest weather change I think I have ever seen. I have lived in AZ almost my entire life and I don't ever remember a swing in weather like this. Now, I am not complaining. Don't get me wrong. I just don't get it. It's almost a tease. We were getting geared up for a long hot summer and the boom - cold and rainy. We all know the heat is coming, but this is a really nice break.

best of idol - finale - cookie takes it

A huge congratulations to David Cook. He deserves this. He is a great and humble guy with a lot of talent. He's got a fan in me. There is so much I could I say right now about the finale, but I really just want to leave it on a happy note.

Enjoy this... David Cook's first single, The Time of My Life

But did you really think I would have a post only about Cookie? Um, no. Somebody was looking mighty fine last night...

And somebody sung their ass off! This was his gift to the faithful dreadheads...

I will leave it with that, for now, because somebody leaves me speechless...

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

*jumping up and down in my chair*

HE'S GONNA SING HALLELUJAH!!!

I can hardly contain myself...

Whom ever wins is totally irrelevant to me right now.

woo hoo

edited to add:
JUST CUZ...

ignoring Idol

This is me, pretending to ignore Idol. Yes, I watched it. And tomorrow is gonna be super sweet. The top 10 will be there...

Anyway. That is not the purpose of this post.

This is all about new Alanis Morissette. The new album, Flavors Of Entanglement comes out June 10th. The new video for the first single, Underneath, is out. Check it out:

See, there is more to life than Jason Castro. Not much, but there is something...

i need a smile today...

Oh look. A gorgeous boy with smiles to spare!

idol itunes

Apparently, TBTB (the powers that be) are going to be taking the Idol songs off of itunes around the time of the finale. Before or after, I am not sure. But since that is only a couple of days away, I wanted to give a couple of recommendations. I have purchased all the Jason Castro performances, studio versions and videos, but I know that there are not many freaks like me out there. So, if you only wanted to purchase two songs from itunes, these are the ones I recommend buying:

Somewhere Over the Rainbow (studio version) by Jason Castro
Always Be My Baby (studio version) by David Cook

Yes, I did just recommend that you buy a David Cook song. No, I am not going crazy. Listen, I am as big a Jason Castro fan as you can find, but I am not dumb. I know good music. David Cook is a great singer. He deserves to win the show. His version of Always Be My Baby is amazing. I listen to it over and over. And Jason's cover of SOTR is beyond amazing. It is his personal favorite performance and it is the perfect example of what kind of a singer he is. (My other favorites are the studio versions of Fragile and Travelin Thru) So please, go purchase these two songs. Come on! It's $2.00. You can afford it.

song in my head 05/18/08

Not the Doctor (from Jagged Little Pill Acoustic) by Alanis Morissette

junk & tickets

So, the shrink went fine. It was the first ever visit, so I wasn't expecting much. We talked. Got some diagnosis based on said talking and got some drugs. I really wasn't going just to get drugs. The doctor even said that he is not a pill pusher, but he believes that anti-depressants will help. He believes that the pills will help with the depression and anxiety. He also said that what I was going thru in February was full on panic attacks. I figured as much, but hearing it from a doctor really helps. That has been the case with all the doctors I have been going to lately. The better I feel, the more I believe the doctors. It's not that I thought they were lying, I just still felt bad and no one could tell me why. It does really suck to realize that you can make yourself so sick like that. So, I got a prescription and made an appointment with the therapist. The shrink thinks I need to do both. I know that talking therapy (as the shrink called it) is really what I need, but the doctor believes I should do both in conjunction. He said that there is no way to find out if the pills will work until you try them. So, I am trying it all. I feel good about it. I am in a good place right now, but I go thru cycles. I need to work on things in my past while I am dealing on my own with the things in my present. And I have the therapist there for when I can't deal with the present. That might not make sense, but it's all I got right now...

Today was ticket day. The tickets to the American Idol tour went on sale this morning. There was a presale a few days ago, but they did not release very good seats for the presale. So I decided to wait to see what I could get when the tickets went on sale to the public. I got 15th row on the floor. That was really the best I could find. I went for it. I decided to go by myself. I had originally planned to drag my mom to the show with me, but I then decided that I really wanted to try to get seats as close as I could. I knew that my mom would not be thrilled to be on the floor among all the crazies. So, I decided to just go by myself. Plus, I might be meeting some forum people at the show just to say hey. I didn't want to put my mom thru all that mess either. I am ok with going by myself. I am always so caught up in the show and I tend to ignore the person I am with anyway. Speaking of that... Today, I also bought our lawn seats to the John Mayer concert. hehe. As my sister said, I dropped a boat load at ticketmaster today. But it is soooooo worth it.

finally

Tomorrow is the day.

I am going to the shrink. I have put it off way too long. For too many years. I have no expectations. Ok, that is not true. Deep down I have hope, but it takes a lot for me to allow that hope to bubble up and materialize. I am glad that I have found a little hope. I thought I had lost it completely. I just really want to feel better. None of the other doctors have worked, so I am at my last resort. If this does not work, then I don't know what I will do.

Tomorrow is a big step for me. It may be easy for some people to take this step, but I have resisted for far too long. I am really gonna do this.

But I will say, my nightly chats with my online friends, is some awesome therapy. I am starting to believe, again, that things really do happen for a reason. I met them when I needed a friend. They fell into my lap and I appreciate them more than they will ever know.

So. Shrink. Tomorrow. Who knew?

that smile

That smile is my favorite thing in the entire world.

at Krohn Conservatory, May 8, 2008

for my girls

The day we fell in love...

The day we fell in lust...


*hugs*

getting caught up

So much life happened while I was in Ohio and I feel my poor blog got neglected. Since I came home from work today feeling like shit (stomach ache and vomiting, not a pretty sight at work!), I am trying to get caught up on everything. Sure, I have been home for what? 4 days? Yeah, whatever. I have no life. I get home from work and get right on the damn computer. We (meaning my online friends) have basically abandoned the Idol forum and moved to a new location that will remain unmentioned (I don't want y'all tracking me down!). So, I get home and get right on the boards. Then late night chats with my girls. I am getting used to staying up late again. It really isn't making me so tired, or maybe I am just getting used it. I am wondering why I said that I have no life. I like this life. I like talking to my friends. Your life is what you make it. I am all over the place right now. I am feeling so crappy that I think I am out of my mind.
Anyway, my reason for posting is that I wanted to share when Jason was on Jay Leno. This was last Thursday night. I watched it in Ohio. I wished he would have been interviewed, instead of the fed some random lines to say. I am sharing this video, because to me it is Old and New. Once you watch it, you will understand. Well, only if I share the following: I used to love Huey Lewis. This was when I was really young. I had all the albums on cassette tape! So, here you go...

Dumb, right? But such a cute boy! Hair flip!! *dies*

What else happened? Sports... Oh, the Suns don't have a coach anymore: D'Antoni accepts Knicks' offer. What else? Eric Byrnes hasn't had a hit in the month of May, but the Diamondbacks are still in first place! I haven't watched a game in weeks... And I really have no idea what is happening in the NBA playoffs. I really don't. I don't much care, either.

Gas is more expensive in Ohio than Phoenix. It was $3.79 in Cincinnati and its around $3.49 here.

The hotness is heating it up with Jennifer Aniston. I don't put much weight on it. He is not looking for a wife right now. He used to be, but he knows what he has now and he is not gonna settle down anytime soon. Dare I say that he has changed? I blame Jessica. Bitch. And, no! I haven't bought the tickets for the show yet. I decided that we (yes, I am dragging Chris) are gonna get lawn seats. I can get those anytime, so I am waiting. I need to do it soon, but I have my Idol tour tickets to buy first. Are my priorities out of whack? Damn you Jason Castro.

So, what do I have to do this weekend? I have like 3 weeks worth of laundry. My house is a pig sty. It has been like that for weeks. Maybe I need to tend to it. I also have to complete the questionnaire for the sister's annulment. Yikes. That is gonna be tough, but I think that I can manage.

I think I need to shut up now...

trying to kill the hotness?

What? Who ever that is better get the f***ing gun away from the hotness!

Ok, whatever. He took a self defense course...
Guess the paparazzi might get out of control one day. You never know.

because we no longer watch "the show" anymore...

"That's what I like to do, ya know. And if that's what makes people go crazy, than that's cool, ya know. That's the kind of fans I want. People that are moved by the music. And ah yeah, I'll take all the fans I can get."
- Jason Castro, EW.com Idolatry interview, part III

photos galore

I took so many photos on our trip... too many to post here. But you can check them out on my flickr.

Here are the links...

Sarah's Graduation

Cincinnati Chili

Krohn Conservatory

Downtown Cincinnati & Over the Rhine

Union Terminal

this is where we used to live

Eden Park

Mt. Airy

Misc Cincinnati

guess what i don't have to do tonite?

I don't have to spend 2 whole hours voting my ass off and wearing down my phone battery.

What a relief...

congratulations on your graduation, Sarah

day 3 & day 4 - in Cincinnati

Well, first off... we are home. We got home Sunday night. Not a full flight, so that was a plus. Got a little shut eye on the plane, which was nice. I did not get much sleep on this trip. I guess I haven't been getting much sleep in the last few weeks. Oh well.
Anyway, the weekend consisted of my sister-in-law's graduation. Saturday was the massive ceremony and Sunday was the smaller, college of education ceremony. Saturday was the first day of the trip that we encountered the in-laws. They don't live in Cincinnati, so we were not planning on seeing them until then, anyway. I hate to admit this, but it was pretty painless. I get myself all worked up over dealing with my mother-in-law and then it all works out ok. The graduation on Saturday was... well... a disaster. Not for reasons you may assume. It was a disaster, because we (Chris & I) got sunburned. Saturday was the only day on the whole trip that it did not rain. Imagine that? It was a good thing, because the ceremony was outside in the football stadium. But really? Who leaves Arizona, where it is 95 degrees and goes to Ohio and gets sunburned? Dorks who don't think about sunscreen, that's for sure. After the graduation, we went to dinner all together (father-in-law, mother-in-law, both sister's-in-law, sister-in-law's fiance, and me & Chris). Loads of family fun there. Sunday was the smaller ceremony, inside. That was good, because it was pouring rain. It was much shorter (only an hour; the first one was 2 hours) and it was the one where they actually read the names of the graduates. My sister-in-law graduated magna cum laude with a degree in English from the College of Education. She got a job as a 6th grade English teacher. We are very proud of her. Anyway, after the ceremony on Sunday, we had to leave to head to the airport. The airport was a 2 hour drive away. We got there really early, because checking in and security took about 10 minutes combined. It was awesome, but not so great when you allow for it to take 2 hours. But we made it thru the visit. It actually was not terrible. We had a lot of fun seeing all our old hang outs and eating all our favorite foods. I am glad we got to spend time there on our own and it was really great to see the family too. I knew it was all worth it when we were leaving for the airport, my sister-in-law (the one that graduated), started to cry when I hugged her. This trip was about her and she was happy we were there. So were we.

song in my head 05/12/08

I'm Not Who I Was
written by Brandon Heath
sung by Jason Castro

the song stops at 3:15 minute mark...

happy mother's day

day 1 & day 2 - in Cincinnati

Over the past two days, we have just been hanging out. It has actually been quit nice to not have an agenda. All we really wanted to do was travel around and see all the places we loved about this city. Yesterday, we went to Union Terminal, downtown, Over the Rhine, Eden Park and Krohn Conservatory. They were having the annual butterfly show at the conservatory and I was so excited that we got to see it again. We had gone many times when we lived here. I got some great photos and I am in the process of posting them on my flickr. I will post them here (and my 366) when I get home. Today, we went to see all the places we used to live. We also went to Mt. Airy to play a little disc golf (but the ground was really muddy. It rained all day Wednesday and Thursday!) We also have been eating at some of our favorite places. Since I know some foodies, I will share the restaurants now:
Camp Washington
Mt. Adams Bar & Grill
Burbanks
Andy's Mediterranean Grille
Graeter's
Tomorrow is my sister-in-law, Sarah's graduation from Miami University. We will be busy with that all day. We also get to see the rest of the in-laws tomorrow too. That should be fun.
I will post more about all this when I have more time. :)

deep sigh

Well, yesterday was quite a day. It's tough to decide where to start. I guess with the most important...

You thought I was gonna start with American Idol, didn't you?
Well, you are wrong.

Yesterday, Chris and I flew to Ohio. Surprisingly, everything with the flight went fine. Checking in and security took like 30 minutes total. And the flight, as uncomfortable as a full flight is, went well. Right on time leaving and arriving. Getting rental car and getting to Cincinnati went alright too. Who knew that once we got here all hell would break loose. I guess I am being over dramatic about what happened, but it was really bad timing. We arrived at our hotel at around 8:50pm. I was so excited, because we were gonna be in our room in time to watch American Idol (see, its all connected!), but little did I know. When we got here, they had no record of our reservation. We had made the reservation on Orbitz.com. The biggest issue was that this is graduation weekend for lots of schools and all the hotels all over town are booked. So, if they didn't have room for us, we were screwed. It took forever, including us having to call Orbitz ourselves to try to resolve the issue, but I finally got a room key at about 9:40pm. Chris was still dealing with the front desk, but they had a room for us and so they let me go up. I practically ran thru the damn hotel. I made it in time to see the end of the show... more on that later. The hotel finally worked it out with Orbitz and everything is fine now. The hotel manager even called our room this morning to let us know that he was aware of what happened and wanted to make sure everything was ok now. That was impressive. The guys at the front desk last night did eventually step up and help us, but I really would have liked if they have stepped up a little sooner. We waited for way too long before they said, "We will get you a room and work this out." After we unpacked (and the show was over), we went for chili. It has been 6 years since we have had Cincinnati chili and since we were here, we couldn't wait any longer. Well, worth the wait! You know I had to photo the chili. hehe.

Ok, now the rest. I have dealt enough to be able to talk about the fact that Jason Castro was kicked of American Idol last night. I believe that there is NO WAY that Syesha got more votes than Jason. It is impossible. It is the Idol machine that chewed him up and spit him out. They wanted to do that last week, but couldn't. They jumped on it this week, especially after he forgot the words. Just a reminder that one of the remaining contestants has done that 3 times and is still there. But what do I know? Anyway. I am angry about the fact that the show is rigged. But I am at peace with him being gone. Sure, selfishly I wanted to see his beautiful face and hear his amazing voice for another 2 weeks. But he was done. He did many TV interviews this morning on all the Fox affiliates and he said that he was relieved to leave. He also said that he wanted to still be on the show, but now that he is off it is a relief. Understandable. He just looked so happy on the interviews this morning and I am so glad. He now has to chance to be himself and sing the songs he wants to sing. He is free from the Idol machine. This is all I wanted for him, anyway. If he's happy, then there is no reason I should be sad. There is still the finale and the tour (less than 2 months away!!). And after the tour, his career. He has made life long fans and I am one of them. So I say this: Thank you for everything, Jason. You have brought something special and unique to the lives of your fans. You have graced us with your gift and we will forever be grateful. You have also brought some amazing people in to my life. People I hope I can be friends with for a long time after Idol. Again, thank you thank you thank you.
For my final goodbye, I share with you the studio version of Mr. Tambourine Man (full length version, with all the words.) by Jason Castro. Trust me, it is worth a listen.
And now what happens? I don't care. As long as Archuleta does not win, I am good.

Todays events and maybe even some photos coming later...

american idol

I don't want to talk about it. Not now, at least. I might be able to find the right words to describe how I feel, at a later date. But until then... I leave you with this...

things to do before we leave

I'm gonna make a list here for myself, just in case I forget anything...

finish laundry

pack

upload all music/videos/movies to ipod

buy batteries for camera

buy healthy treats for plane/hotel

watch American Idol/vote like crazy for Jason Castro

chat with my friends

did I say pack?

fill prescriptions

tan legs with Jergens natural glow express Body Moisturizer - it really works on my pasty legs! Doesn't really make them look tan, just not so ghostly.

lappie

Ever since my sister told me she named her lap top, lappie, I have called all lap top's lappie. Random. I know. I mention this because I am currently typing this in a lappie. My dear father has allowed me to borrow his lap top to take on the trip (HOLY CRAP! We leave on Wednesday!) and he brought it over for me yesterday. Well, both my parents brought it, but still. I am forever grateful that he let me borrow it. Yes, I want to keep in touch with my friends, but that is not the only reason. I live on the computer. I did before just recently. I have had a computer since I was in like 1st or 2nd grade. I don't usually go a day without one and I don't really want to. I like being informed. I like having access to information. So, being in a hotel for 4 days with no computer is like being on a deserted island. I will not have to find out what that's like (although, if forced to, I could manage with out! I swear.), because I have one now! Maybe I will never give it back. It is so nice to sit on the couch instead of my uncomfortable desk chair!

to my sister-in-law, Linda

it's been a rough week

What with all the Idol controversy, late nights online and doctors appointments. I am exhausted. How did I ever stay up late? I feel like such an old lady. And I was only staying up until midnight (Monday, Tuesday & Thursday) and I am still so tired. Maybe its because I gave up caffeine, so I have nothing to get my thru the day. Oh well. It's been worth it.
Ok, lets recap:

American Idol - My feelings on Jason: I, selfishly, want him to stay. Who wouldn't want to keep looking at him and watching him perform? I know I do. But I honestly don't want him to win. He would be ruined by the pop idol machine. He needs to come in 3rd. That way he can get the recognition he deserves (meaning do all the talk shows, press, etc), but still be on for a little longer. We all know it should be an all David finale. That is what is destined to be. So, after this week, I might not vote anymore. Not that my few 1000 votes really make a difference, but who knows. And about the Entertainment Weekly article: 1st, the balloons were pretty weird. Fun and crazy, but weird. Especially for a humble guy not used to the attention. 2nd, Can't blame a guy for being tired and wanting to go home. For the same reason as the balloons being weird. I am sure it is an insane life and every one wants to get off the bus once in a while. So, with that. I say as long as he's around I'll be happy. But when he leaves, I will be at peace too.

late nights online - I have been chatting with my girls every nite. Such fun! We are still kinda paranoid about getting kicked off the boards again, so its been a chat room for us. But I actually don't care so much about the boards. It is full of naive people who are unrealistic. I need to deal with reality more than rainbows and balloons. The boards have their place. But it gets to be too much most days. I am so glad to have my friends who share my same opinions. We vent and so much more!!

Doctor appointment - I went to the endocrinologist yesterday. Guess what? Nothing I didn't already know. Duh! So I have insulin resistance. Not diabetes. She is gonna run some tests to determine if I am pre-diabetic or not. I will have to deal with that when we get back. And she also dropped the earth shattering bomb of "You need to lose weight." OH. Shock of shocks. I know I am being really cynical lately, but I am sorta sick of all this. I am sick and tired of being sick. I have lost 13 pounds since February. And I haven't really been trying too hard. I feel good about the weight that I have lost, but I know that I need to lose more. The new doctor wants me to work really hard on it and she thinks that it will make a major difference. She also does not believe the numbness in my extremities is related to diabetes or anything else. So, still no answers, besides the obvious. All the same conclusions are being drawn by all the doctors. They know nothing other than that I need to lose weight. I am working on that, people. Cut me some slack. I know I am slowly killing myself. I don't want to die, so the only option I am faced with is the one I have struggled with my entire life. Not much comfort to be found in that.

Oh well. I guess I gotta get some stuff together this weekend. We are leaving for the 'Nati on Wednesday (and yes, I know I will miss the results show due to our travelling. I am not pleased about this, but my friends will text me!)

i figured something out today

I decided that I am tired of defending myself and the choices I make. My life is my life. I decide what I do. I am sick of thinking what others might think about my actions before doing them. I have been so caught up in that for too long. I want the freedom to make decisions without worry about others opinions or reactions. I am not gonna become a selfish bitch. You know that will never happen. But I am really gonna stop defending myself. If you love me, you do. Why do I need to make you understand why I do what I do? I don't. I get that now. Accept me for who I am.

lets just leave it at this

Laura = happy camper!

best of idol - top 5

I have no words. Well, maybe a couple...

If Jason leaves tonite, there will be chaos and total distruction of this rigged Idol machine. I hate this show. I believe that even if he got the least votes (which I highly doubt), he will not leave. I believe, in fact, they will reveal him to be the first person safe tonite. If they don't cover their asses, Idol will have to deal with the consquences. They have been making him out to be a total dumb ass for weeks. They show him messing up with Neil Diamond. Show him getting embarrassed. Like that is the only footage they had to show? They are doing it on purpose. It is so not fair. This show is so biased and so rigged and this season has exposed it for what it really is.
I could explain what happened last night, or I could forward you to an article that will explain better than I ever could. Read it here.
I am too upset to talk about it anymore. I can't even eat my lunch. My stomach is in knots.

This day cannot end soon enough.

edited to add: I called this bitch! He was brought out first and declared safe right away. Hehe. So predictable.

banned camp

Did you know it's possible to get kicked off the American Idol forum? Well it is. Ask me and about 6 or so of my online friends. We spent all weekend hanging out in the forum and talking to each other. We were making each other laugh so hard. We got a little nasty (ok, a lot nasty!) and were posting things full of innuendo. I was up so late on Friday and Saturday night. When I woke up on Sunday, I discovered that our thread had been deleted and we were all banned from the boards. It was more funny than anything. We knew we were pushing the boundaries, but we were having too much fun. So, that's where the whole banned camp comes in. People who get banned can get reinstated and they say that's where they were. I requested to be reinstated and was on Monday morning. By then, we had all created new user ids and found each other. So stupid. But the best thing to come out of it was that I met some amazing people and we are famous! Everyone else on the boards know about us. Mant people were reading our conversation, but not contributing. They were all too scared. For good reason, I guess. But now every time I (or any of the other girls) post, people freak that their threads are gonna get hijacked and deleted. Yesterday, I commented on something that seemed benign, but another girl said something like she wanted to keep the thread PG. So I commented back, "Ok, I'll leave. Apparently my reputation precedes me." It is hilarious.
So, since we cannot really talk like we like to on the boards, we are all now meeting in a chat room at night. It is easier that way, because its real time. These girls rock. I am so glad I met them. I know - online friends, don't equal real friends. But I totally disagree. These people that I bonded with this weekend are amazing. We have so much fun making each other laugh. We get along so well and can't believe that we all found each other. We decided last night that even if Jason goes today, next week or whenever, we will still talk. It started with a mutual love, but grown quickly into a great friendship.

goth girls rule!!!

jennifer aniston, eh?

So, while I have been slightly pre-occupied, the hotness has been going out behind my back. He spent a week in Miami with Jennifer Aniston. There are pictures floating around now of them laying out by the pool. Guess that confirms that.
How do I feel about this? I just want him to be happy and if she works for him, I support it. She is way too old for him, though. But at least she has some class. That was clearly missing from the past relationship that shall go un-mentioned here.
But seriously, the boy gets around, eh?

what a day!

Today is crazy for me. The Suns game. American Idol. They are singing two songs (spoiler alert - Forever In Blue Jeans and September Morn - it's Neil Diamond week!). Maybe if I could tear myself away from the message boards and chats to get some stuff done, life would be simpler.

Also, day celebrates 14 years since Chris and I became officially boyfriend and girlfriend. He does not like to call it an anniversary, but I do. So, it's our 14th anniversary as a couple.
04-29-94 to 04-29-08 to forever
Ok, that was cheesy. But still. He is the love of my life and I knew it 14 years ago.
edited to add: We look like babies. That's because we were! 16 year olds who thought they knew it all!

they'd only put the winner in the middle, right?

source

welcome to the world, Colbie

My cousin, Crista had her baby by c-section early this morning, at around 2:30am. She was just over 5 lbs, but is healthy. She shares a birthday with my sister!

to my sister

another good day?

Not sure how a great a day today will be. The Suns lost again last night. This is the new quote on their website:
Yikes. I feel bad for them. They are not playing well and it is not really a representation of how they played all season. They do deserve to make it further, but I don't feel like they will. I have not lost all hope. But its highly unlikely at this point.

In other news, my cousin (who's shower I went to 2 weeks ago) is in the hospital soon to be giving birth. She is not due until May 11th, but after her doctor appointment yesterday, they sent her to the hospital to get induced. Her blood pressure was really high and since she is so close to her due date they decided to get the baby out. For all I know, she might have had her by now. NO one calls me on this stuff. But my whole family is awaiting the arrival of baby Colbie!

And one last thing. I thought I would share with you all the full length studio recording of Memory, that is available to purchase on itunes. This version is so much better than what he sung on the show. It's worth a listen, I promise.

laugh if you must

My fellow dreadheads sent Jason Castro over 100 balloons yesterday. It took the florist 5 vans to deliver all of them. This is an actual photo of some of them [ETA:] that Jason actually took with his iPhone. We have a mole who is a real life friend of his. She helped coordinate the delivery people getting them to him.
Here is what she said yesterday when they were delivered:
"Jason has seen the balloons BLOWN AWAY He just keeps laughing and smiling and he is so amazed and HAPPY!! he says thank you thank you!! Funny thing is David Cook and David A had to help bring them all in because Jason had gone across the street."
How fun is that? I know this might seem so stupid to most people (like Chris, in particular), but I love it. I love that he has a fan base that can coordinate themselves to collect money from all over the country online and arrange to have 100+ balloons delivered. I guess its not really that difficult. But I like to hang out (even if its online) with people who would think to do something like that. That is something I would do and I love that I have met, thru American Idol, a group of like minded people. That's what I mean when I say it is good for my soul. It makes me happy and smile and brings me joy. Crazy to some, but bliss for me.

edited to add: WE MADE THE LA TIMES!!

and the LA Times article was picked up by online newspaper, The Huffington Post

and today (04/28/08), OK Magazine

today will be a good day, right?

The Suns will win tonite!!

and I will get a life by removing myself from the idol message boards long enough to go shopping. I managed to get to bed last night at a reasonable time, so that is positive. And I feel half way decent! Hooray! It sounds crazy, but this idol love is good for my soul.

two weeks from today & JULY!!!

So yesterday, I realized that in two weeks we will be leaving for Ohio. My youngest sister in law (Chris has two younger sisters) is graduating from college. Hooray for her!! I am happy about all that. But I am sorta dreading dealing with my out-laws in-laws. It is a nice, comfortable distance with them in OH and us in AZ. We haven't seen them since Christmas 2005. I am looking forward to being back in the 'Nati and going to see (and photo) all the places we used to live and go. I am also really looking forward to some chili. But that whole pesky in-law situation keeps me from being too excited.

Now about July... Why would I ever be excited about the hottest month of the year? Or is that August? Whatever. At that point, its all so hot it doesn't matter. I am excited for July because of how it will start and end.
July 1st - American Idol tour concert. I begged my mom to go with me, even though she does not watch the show. I didn't want to go alone and I knew that she would humor me.
July 30th - John Mayer concert. I have resigned myself to getting lawn seats. I gave up 5th row and was never able to find better than that. I figure if I am gonna go to both shows, I need to save a little money. The lawn is actually better for shows at this venue, because you have more room.

safe

What does it mean to be safe?
In the case of American Idol, apparently it means the media opens a whole can of whoop ass on you.
Since the wonderful results of last night, I was been floating. I was so happy. I really didn't care who left last night, as long as it was a girl. But I do think that Brooke should have left before Carly.
What I am referring to about this media is... Now that Carly is gone, they are all saying (and the judges have referred to this too) that the show has become a popularity contest, instead of a singing contest. To that, I say, "Why are they popular in the first place? Oh I don't know? Maybe because they can sing?" DUH! Sure, Jason was saved by his fans (including ME!). Again - DUH! What is this show for if not to develop a fan base for the contestants? I am at a totally loss at the whole "popularity" issue. Does the best singer always win on Idol? Really? It is who is the most popular, who can also sing well. They need to deal with the reality of this reality show!!

i can breathe again

No other idol spoilers than that.

Just know that I am a very happy girl right now!!!!!!!

wigging out

Seriously. This day cannot go fast enough.

If Jason gets kicked off Idol tonite, I think I might fall over dead.
Ok, yes. I am being over dramatic. I just pray that it doesn't happen.

At least I can follow the show on the forum, when it airs on the East Coast.
I don't think I could handle waiting until almost 9pm to find out.

I AM STRESSING BAD!!

It's gonna be like this until he goes... just a warning to the rest of you.

best of idol - top 6 (and... about last night)

I don't really feel like posting any videos today. Last night was an extremely difficult night for me, all around. Before I get into idol... the Suns lost. They are down 2 games to 0. It is very disheartening. Especially because they were ahead the whole first half. Yes, I know this is my idol review. But last night was so much more than idol. It started out all about idol and ended differently. I was so caught up in the show and the message boards that I didn't eat dinner. I took my pills, but didn't eat. Not a good combo. Well, I ate a few Pringles. But by the time I got some food around 9 o'clock (or better yet, Chris got me some food), I was feeling horrible and nauseous. I tried to eat, but couldn't. I went to bed feeling so sick. I feel better today. Not 100%, but way better.

So, lets just get this out of the way right now. Yes, Jason was struggling. But people, he is SICK. He has been sick for days. Couldn't you see him wiping his nose after his performance? He didn't want people to know he was sick and use it as an excuse. But if you have an excuse, that is a pretty valid one. He struggled in the low range of his voice and I agree that it was not the greatest song choice. (How cute was my boy? "I didn't know it was sung by a cat.") But he had the emotion and the soul that it takes to pull off that song. He gave it his all. I am just so confused with this week. Its like they set certain people up for failure. We all knew going in that David A and Syesha would rock this. They have those types of voices. But how can they say to other contestants that the songs didn't suit them when they knew all along they wouldn't? Chris even said, "What does Andrew Lloyd Webber have to do with finding a pop idol?" Good question, dear. Whatever on that topic! I know that Jason will be in the bottom this week. He better not go home (!!), but I am afraid the casual voter will go with the judges and not vote for him.

David A. - Where do I begin with this kid? How many times can a person forget their lyrics and still win American Idol? Apparently it will be at least 3. He did it again last night. This show is so biased it is not even funny any more. There is no subtlety left. They (producers, judges, etc) want a David A/David C finale and they are gonna say whatever they have to to make that happen. Even ignore the fact that messed up royally. I also need to applaud the director for panning away from him while he was humming he words instead of getting them right. This kid annoys me more and more every day.

David C. - He does have a nice voice. But all those close shots on his face were creeping me out. I had to look away. He is definitely safe again.

Syesha - Whatever. Standing on the piano, barefoot. I do have to give her credit for picking no so popular songs, because people don't associate them with other people and compare. She will be a great Broadway singer, just like they said. Not the American Idol...

Carly - Again with the messing up of the lyrics. But whatever. Apparently that doesn't matter at all. She covered it really well, unlike the rest of them. Unless you really knew the song, you probably wouldn't have noticed her mess up on the first chorus. She did a decent job. I am glad she sung Superstar instead of All I Ask of You.

Brooke - What do you say about that? I am glad that Paula called her out, but then Paula lost her back bone and they all back peddled. That annoys me more than not saying anything. She forget the words too. She made them stop the song and start over. WHAT THE?? This is the 2nd time she has done this too. She struggled thru the whole song and I felt like she had no emotion other than fear.

My bottom 3: Brooke White, David Archuleta and... (you know this kills me!!) Jason Castro - with Brooke going home.

happy earth day

and for my sister & sheepish...

who knew?

I wasn't planning on changing the colors, but I guess I just felt like it. In honor of Earth Day (04/22/08) and because it's hip to go green, I give you all my own - gone green. Hope you like it.

11:38am PST
edited to add: Trying out dots now. Not sure how I feel about them yet. Looking for feedback on the background. Does it annoy you? Or is it ok?

round 1

Playoff Schedule

Game 1 - Sat. April 19 - San Antonio - Noon PST - LOSS
Game 2 - Tue. April 22 - San Antonio - 6:30 p.m. PST - LOSS
Game 3 - Fri. April 25 - Phoenix - 7:30 p.m. PST - LOSS
Game 4 - Sun. April 27 - Phoenix - 12:30 p.m. PST
Game 5 - TBD - San Antonio
Game 6 - TBD - Phoenix
Game 7 - TBD - San Antonio

song in my head 04/18/08

New Deep by John Mayer
This is somebody's cheesy clip montage. But there was never a video made for this song.

tomorrow's goals

make up blood tests

new blood tests

haircut

mail sister's birthday present (her birthday is in 10 days!!)

get prepped for the NBA playoffs - GO SUNS!! Beat the Spurs.

try to stay sane

note to self

There is more on the internet than american idol forums and blogs about Jason Castro.

best of idol - top 7

David Cook


Jason Castro

I was very fearful of last night. I really do not like Mariah Carey at all. I have disliked her for a long time. I do not deny her ability and I think most of my dislike comes from jealousy. But still. So Mariah week. I knew it would be rough and it was. David A just needs to go away. Leather pants? Really? He sounded fine, but sooo boring. David Cook did not impress me the first time I heard him, but I gave it another try and I was impressed. I did not like the very last note, but the rest was creative. I did love when he cried. His brother was there in the front row and he got all choked up. He seems like a cool dude too.

Castro did not disappoint. I am always worried about his song choice, but he some how manages to find a way to make them unique. He really does have his own style. My fellow dreadheads (check out the idol forums!) are calling for a Cook/Castro top 2. I agree. I have a feeling it will be the battle of the David's, but I hope otherwise. Jason can lose. That is really ok with me. I just want him to get as far as he can. Winning American Idol is no guarantee of a long career (*cough-Fantasia, Taylor, Ruben-cough*), so losing is not really a bad thing (ie. Clay, Daughtry).

I voted last night until my phone and bluetooth died. Funny.

My bottom 3: All girls... Syesha Mercado, Kristy Lee Cook and Carly Smithson - with Syesha going home. I am going on a limb here with Syesha leaving. I think she has lost momentum. And Kristy has the Vote for the Worst thing going for her. I predict the girls going home in the next 4 weeks.

04/17/08 - 1:24pm PST
edited to add: So, I suck at picking who goes home. I admit I have been wrong all along. But really, it doesn't matter. I have been getting 2 out of 3 on my bottom 3. I am just glad that KLC finally left. It's getting so close now. It's very stressful. I basically watched the show unfold on the forum last night during the East Coast airing. It was stressful reading what was happening, but I was glad I did that. Had I not known the outcome, actually watching the show might have given me the heart attack I fear. I hate that stupid "pick a side" crap. You knew that David A. was safe and he was so stupid for not realizing that Ryan was trying to tell him which side to choose. Cute that the boys sat down together. It is so clearly divided that its not even funny any more. Andrew Lloyd Webber week next week. I saw something about them going to Vegas.

one step forward, a million steps back

Last nights Idol review coming later!

So, the step forward. I guess it was more than one step. It was the positive test results from the nerve test & the MRI. It was also that I made an appointment with a psychiatrist. It is not until the middle of May, but as a new patient, it was the best I could do. That is progress people. Making that appointment was so difficult. It is not nearly as easy as it may seem. I really hope that I am comfortable with this doctor right from the start. I am so far in the process, so I am trying to stay positive about it.

The steps back. The lab called yesterday about my blood work. Apparently there was a "lab accident" and they were not able run all the tests that were ordered. This is the second time something like this has happened. I am so annoyed at this lab. So, I need to go back to have the test re-taken. But I guess its not so bad, since I also got a call from the doctors office telling me they did get some blood work results and are ordering more tests. My B12 level is low. So, I have to go back to the lab anyway. I was so overwhelmed by these phone calls yesterday. That, and I have not been feeling well the last couple of days. Hell, I don't feel good any day. But some days, the pain is worse than others. I am living with it and learning to deal with it, but I wish someone would fix me. I wish that my symptoms were text book and the doctor would say, "This is what is wrong and this is how we will fix it." My symptoms are clearly more than anxiety. At first, maybe you could dismiss them away. But I have always felt something was wrong. I am still have the enormous pain in my shoulder/chest area of my left arm. The numbness in my face seems to have subsided, but it happens randomly still. I now have the numbness in my right foot. Also, my limbs fall asleep way too easy. I also have pain in both of my elbows and knees. Any one a doctor? Any one figure it out, yet? Cause it ain't MS. It ain't nerve damage. My blood pressure is fine. I am afraid it is too fine. My body was used to my heart pumping the blood faster and now it is not. Now I have circulation problems. Is this from the lack of blood flow? I am no doctor. I am just guessing here. I wish I knew what to do.

the hotness tats

Somebody got a whole sleeve done when he was in Japan.

I don't know how I feel about this quite yet.

sharing music

How about a couple Jason Castro songs to brighten the day?

First a couple originals...

Someday by Jason Castro

The Other Side by Jason Castro


And now a video of a cover....

Clumsy by Chris Rice


Ah, isn't that nice? Just puts a nice little smile on your face.

random bits

Somebody screen capped it --------------------->
I was trying to stop with eyes...
Trying, but not too hard apparently. I should be locked up for this. He is legal by a lot, but it still seems so wrong.

Somewhere Over the Rainbow is now #8 on itunes.

The John Mayer (you didn't think I forgot about him, did you?) ticket mess is still a mess. I decided that if I could get a really good seat when they went on sale today, I would buy one and go by myself. If I couldn't find any good seats, I would just buy 2 lawn seats and hope that Chris would go. Well, I am still waiting for good seats. I am gonna keep trying for a couple more days and see if they release any more in the pre-sale. After that, I will just give up and buy the lawn seats. That will be ok too. I really don't know if any show will measure up to the 2nd row experience I had last summer.

My mom had a colonoscopy today. Hooray for her. She had been needing to have one for many years, but kept putting it off. After I had mine, she said that she was inspired to get one. The plan was that since she took me, I would take her. But she couldn't schedule it on my day off and I couldn't take the day off. My dad took her instead. She did better with the drinking of the stuff then I did. She didn't get nauseous really, so that made a difference. They found a couple polyps, but are optimistic, like they were with me. A few days and she will know for sure. But she is not worried.

I purchased a Ped Egg. It's a thingy to remove dead skin from your feet. TMI alert!!! I have really dry, nasty heals and sometimes I try to work on them. Most of the time, I just give up. Nothing really works. But I do need to give them a shave once in awhile and I found the Ped Egg at Walgreens. I had seen other, more expensive things like this, but didn't want to spend the money. I'll let you know how it works.

I wanted to mention one last thing. I am aware that I get really obsessive about things. Like the hotness and American Idol, among many others. It's how I deal. I need distractions in my life. I know that it is avoidance, but if I didn't distract myself, my mind consumes itself with stress about everything wrong in my life. About health mostly, right now. So as obsessive as I get, I really think these things are ok distractions. I would much rather spend my time on this stuff, then stress myself out. Maybe one day I can deal and not get stressed out, but until then I throw myself at my obsessions and like them.

I am calling shrinks tomorrow.

song in my head 04/10/08

In Love With A Girl by Gavin DeGraw
New album comes out May 6th. Way cool.

idol strikes back

Seriously? I really didn't like Archuleta before. Then he goes and butchers the lyrics to one of the best songs ever written, Seasons of Love. To regular folks, his solo last night might have sounded great. Whatever. He sang the wrong words! This kid might have a voice, but there is more to talent than that. He is consistently bad when it comes to songs he doesn't know. He had like 2 lines to sing and couldn't get them right. I know he is 17 and all. Blame it on him being young. Whatever. I think it annoys me so much because he is probably going to win. He shouldn't. He would not have a career. He has no charisma. He is not a public figure. He clearly breaks under pressure.

I am sorry to go off on this. I am just a huge RentHead and I was thrilled beyond when they started singing this last night. Rent is a classic and getting the words wrong is blasphemy to me.

best of idol - top 8

Jason Castro

Only one (and I left the video big! hehe) video this week. There was only one stellar performance. I am so glad the kid pulled it out. I have to admit that I have to remind myself that he is only 21 and that it just way too young... stop with that video with the eyes... stop...
This kid is a major star. The original version of that song is right now #10 on itunes. After he sung Hallelujah, the original went to #1 on itunes and gave Jeff Buckley his first ever #1 hit. No other idols have caused this much sensation in the music industry.
I voted for over an hour last night. I figured out how to redial on my bluetooth and I just watched the Diamondbacks game and voted. He is so safe this week its not even funny.
Now, what the hell is up with Kristy Lee? Why is she still here? I do like that Randy said that performance was "good, for her." She can sing fine, but she is just a copycat of every other young, blonde country singer. And she still has those nails!
Michael Johns needs to lose the scarf. Cute last week. Not so cute two weeks in a row.
What was with David Cook too? He seemed out of it last night. I agree that the jacket was nice, but the hand thing was cheesy. Everybody has an off night and that was clearly his.
I also need to mention that I really cannot stand David Archuleta. He can sing, but a 17 year old adult contemporary singer? Really? That is your American Idol? Why do all these little kids think he is so cute? That sign "Lick Those Lips" was being held by an 8 year old, for crying out loud. That is just wrong. I just don't get it.

My bottom 3: Syesha Mercado, Brooke White and (yes, I have to do it!) David Cook - with Syesha going home. I hate putting David in the bottom, but everybody has to go thru it at least once.

This is funny... when I mention that Idol Gives Back is on tonite, I always say "Idol Strikes Back." That's funny, right? hehe

normal

What does that mean? normal?

My MRI & spine x-ray came back normal. Does that mean I don't still feel crappy? Does that mean I don't still have random symptoms that make no sense?
It's a good thing. I keep telling myself this. I really didn't want there to be anything wrong. It could have been something that was really bad and life altering. But I did wish that they would find something that would explain it all away.
But it wouldn't be my life if it was that easy.

I am happy about this. I really am. I just don't feel that great today.

I know what I have to do. I'll start making the calls on Friday. My doctor gave me a list of psychiatrists that he recommends.

somewhere over the rainbow

Just a little idol spoiler...
Tonite, Jason Castro is gonna be singing Somewhere Over the Rainbow, but not the Judy Garland version. The version here, by Israel Kamakawiwoʻole. If you've seen 50 First Dates - it's the version in that movie.
It's gonna be interesting...
The rest of tonite's songs are as follows:
David Cook - “Innocent” - Our Lady Peace
David Archuleta - “Angels” by Robbie Williams
Brooke White - “You’ve Got A Friend” by James Taylor/Carole King
Syesha Mercado - “I Believe” by Fantasia
Michael Johns - “Dream On” by Aerosmith
Kristy Lee Cook - “Anyway” by Martina McBride
Carly Smithson - “The Show Must Go On” by Queen

opening day

Today is the home opener for my Arizona Diamondbacks! They are 4-2 & tied with LA for 1st place. Tonite's game will take care of that. The season is also the 10th anniversary of the team. I remember when we didn't have a baseball team and I remember opening day 1998. I wish I was going to the game today. But I will enjoy it from the comfort of my couch.
I leave you with a song written for the team...

D-backs Swing
by Roger Clyne & the Peacemakers
gotta love baseball!

woo hoo!!

Official North American Summer Tour Dates
John Mayer with special guests Colbie Caillat and Brett Dennen
Sponsored by Blackberry

July 30: Phoenix, AZ - Cricket Pavilion

Sucks that it's in the summer. Cool that it's happening!!! More ticket drama for me. Cause I really don't want to sit on the grass, but I just might have to (to get you know who to go with me!).

04/08/08 - 6:08pm PST
edited to add: Holy crap! I just saw that pre-sale for tickets is Thursday morning. Crap! I gotta decide if I want to go by myself and try to get close seats, or beg Chris to go and sit on the grass.

tests? what tests?

Oh right. I had the nerve test yesterday and I went for my MRI & spine x-ray today. The nerve test was basically getting the shit shocked out of me. They ran tests on both arms to compare. They sent electrical currents thru my arms and hands. It really didn't hurt all that much. It was like shocking yourself really bad. The results from that test came back while I was getting the MRI. Good news on that one. Everything is normal with that. The MRI was an open MRI, which was good. I really don't think I could have done the old school kind, in the tube. It was over 20 minutes long and really loud. The x-ray was fine. Nothing major. I should have the results sometime next week.
I think I am being so flippant about this, because I have a feeling there will be nothing found on any of the tests. A good result is what I am supposed to want, right?

IKEA orange

Wandering thru IKEA today, I discovered the abundance of orange items. I went a little nuts to photo many of the orange things. I didn't get everything, because there was just so much. I love this, because orange is one of my favorite colors and I use it as an accent color in my home.

perez who?

yum
I don't want to, but how do I not comment on the hot mess that is Perez Hilton? I really used to be a fan. But more and more lately, all blogs about is himself and him meeting celebrities. Then he gets his own show. Clearly the whole point of his blog was to get famous himself and now that he has publicity, he uses it to his own advantage.
He has posted recently about making out with John Mayer on New Years eve in 2006. He even took a lie detector test to prove he wasn't lying. Whatever. He did lie that he was making this public for publicity. He said he wasn't and the test said he lied. You know, whether this is true or not (my money is on the "not" - people do dumb stuff when they are drunk and provoked), it really doesn't matter. It just shows that Perez is a total publicity hungry douche. I say, down with Perez. I plan to avoid his blog at all together.

best of idol - top 9

Michael Johns


Jason Castro

Hey I know he is my favorite, but I think he did way better than the judges said. In reading reviews today, many people agree with me.

This was the first time I really liked a performance by Michael Johns. He did an amazing job and rocked that scarf.

David Cook finally addressed those "covers" issue. It's so stupid. I truly think that they do things on purpose for the controversy. Duh. Ratings. Both Doxology and Chris Cornell have no commented on the issue.

Brooke needs to stop talking back to the judges so much. It really is annoying and makes her look like an idiot.

I have been meaning to mention this for a while now... What is with Kristy Lee's nails? That horrible french manicure with the glittery red tips. They are horrendous. She is the vote for the worst choice and so she will continue to grace our presence for a little longer.

My bottom 3: Kristy Lee Cook, Ramiele Malubay and Carly Smithson - with Ramiele going home. Those are my choices, but I fear Jason Castro will be in the bottom again. I didn't want to write it, just like last week. But I think it might happen. When I was voting, his line was only busy once in 10 minutes of voting. That scares me!

04/03/08 - 2:05pm
edited to add: I am happy with the outcome. Not much to say here, other than I am very pleased Jason made it another week. Yeah!