it's been a rough week

What with all the Idol controversy, late nights online and doctors appointments. I am exhausted. How did I ever stay up late? I feel like such an old lady. And I was only staying up until midnight (Monday, Tuesday & Thursday) and I am still so tired. Maybe its because I gave up caffeine, so I have nothing to get my thru the day. Oh well. It's been worth it.
Ok, lets recap:

American Idol - My feelings on Jason: I, selfishly, want him to stay. Who wouldn't want to keep looking at him and watching him perform? I know I do. But I honestly don't want him to win. He would be ruined by the pop idol machine. He needs to come in 3rd. That way he can get the recognition he deserves (meaning do all the talk shows, press, etc), but still be on for a little longer. We all know it should be an all David finale. That is what is destined to be. So, after this week, I might not vote anymore. Not that my few 1000 votes really make a difference, but who knows. And about the Entertainment Weekly article: 1st, the balloons were pretty weird. Fun and crazy, but weird. Especially for a humble guy not used to the attention. 2nd, Can't blame a guy for being tired and wanting to go home. For the same reason as the balloons being weird. I am sure it is an insane life and every one wants to get off the bus once in a while. So, with that. I say as long as he's around I'll be happy. But when he leaves, I will be at peace too.

late nights online - I have been chatting with my girls every nite. Such fun! We are still kinda paranoid about getting kicked off the boards again, so its been a chat room for us. But I actually don't care so much about the boards. It is full of naive people who are unrealistic. I need to deal with reality more than rainbows and balloons. The boards have their place. But it gets to be too much most days. I am so glad to have my friends who share my same opinions. We vent and so much more!!

Doctor appointment - I went to the endocrinologist yesterday. Guess what? Nothing I didn't already know. Duh! So I have insulin resistance. Not diabetes. She is gonna run some tests to determine if I am pre-diabetic or not. I will have to deal with that when we get back. And she also dropped the earth shattering bomb of "You need to lose weight." OH. Shock of shocks. I know I am being really cynical lately, but I am sorta sick of all this. I am sick and tired of being sick. I have lost 13 pounds since February. And I haven't really been trying too hard. I feel good about the weight that I have lost, but I know that I need to lose more. The new doctor wants me to work really hard on it and she thinks that it will make a major difference. She also does not believe the numbness in my extremities is related to diabetes or anything else. So, still no answers, besides the obvious. All the same conclusions are being drawn by all the doctors. They know nothing other than that I need to lose weight. I am working on that, people. Cut me some slack. I know I am slowly killing myself. I don't want to die, so the only option I am faced with is the one I have struggled with my entire life. Not much comfort to be found in that.

Oh well. I guess I gotta get some stuff together this weekend. We are leaving for the 'Nati on Wednesday (and yes, I know I will miss the results show due to our travelling. I am not pleased about this, but my friends will text me!)