one step forward, a million steps back

Last nights Idol review coming later!

So, the step forward. I guess it was more than one step. It was the positive test results from the nerve test & the MRI. It was also that I made an appointment with a psychiatrist. It is not until the middle of May, but as a new patient, it was the best I could do. That is progress people. Making that appointment was so difficult. It is not nearly as easy as it may seem. I really hope that I am comfortable with this doctor right from the start. I am so far in the process, so I am trying to stay positive about it.

The steps back. The lab called yesterday about my blood work. Apparently there was a "lab accident" and they were not able run all the tests that were ordered. This is the second time something like this has happened. I am so annoyed at this lab. So, I need to go back to have the test re-taken. But I guess its not so bad, since I also got a call from the doctors office telling me they did get some blood work results and are ordering more tests. My B12 level is low. So, I have to go back to the lab anyway. I was so overwhelmed by these phone calls yesterday. That, and I have not been feeling well the last couple of days. Hell, I don't feel good any day. But some days, the pain is worse than others. I am living with it and learning to deal with it, but I wish someone would fix me. I wish that my symptoms were text book and the doctor would say, "This is what is wrong and this is how we will fix it." My symptoms are clearly more than anxiety. At first, maybe you could dismiss them away. But I have always felt something was wrong. I am still have the enormous pain in my shoulder/chest area of my left arm. The numbness in my face seems to have subsided, but it happens randomly still. I now have the numbness in my right foot. Also, my limbs fall asleep way too easy. I also have pain in both of my elbows and knees. Any one a doctor? Any one figure it out, yet? Cause it ain't MS. It ain't nerve damage. My blood pressure is fine. I am afraid it is too fine. My body was used to my heart pumping the blood faster and now it is not. Now I have circulation problems. Is this from the lack of blood flow? I am no doctor. I am just guessing here. I wish I knew what to do.