Thursday, August 24, 2006

Why lucky?

Gee, I am blogging a lot today. I guess its because my butt is glued to this chair (And much more comfortably after my trip to Target in which I purchased a chair cushion for the hard ass IKEA desk chair.) while I listen to Continuum over and over, just like I said I would.
Anyway.
I know that I have a ton of junk on my sidebar, so it's probably not real obvious when I change my mood bear. But I changed it today to lucky. Why? Well, I am going thru something in my life right now that I am not ready to blog about. It's too raw and too personal, at least until maybe I can wrap my own head around it. Then the car dies. Died. A hunk of scrap parked in front of the house. That created a whole other set of problems that I just wasn't ready to deal with. We can't really afford another car payment (I owned the dead one out right.) and buying a car is the worst. We just went thru that and it was such a pain after Chris's accident. We are still weighing our options and that means in the mean time, we carpool. That is really not convenient for us either. I work long days and so does Chris, but they are not the same hours. I go in earlier than he does and he usually stays late. We will do it, but we can't for very long. I just wish that a car fairy would drop another car on my door step. That happened last year when my dad bought me my car (the now dead one). It is 13 years old and we knew it wouldn't last forever. It was really great while it did last, though. But now we have to deal with getting a car on top of everything else, including Chris having to travel back and forth to LA (He went on Tuesday and has to go again next Tuesday). It is just too much. My mom always asks me what she can do to help me. She knows there really isn't anything she can do, but she wishes there was. Last night I was overwhelmed and called her. I said, "What you can do is make this car situation go away." I knew there was only so much she could do, but she did give me advice on car buying. So that helped. Ah, lost track of what I have writing about. But that was a good example. Lucky. Why am I feeling lucky? Because I have family that loves me and really does try to help in their own ways. I have music that brings me so much joy. I have new TV season coming up, which included the premiere of Prison Break on Monday (it freakin rocked, btw). I have a lot to be thankful for. So I guess I am thankful and lucky.

This is me, trying like hell to stay positive. Hanging on for dear life. But really lucky that I have what I do have.