I had really good intentions. I was all ready to go to work today. At least I thought I was. But last night, I couldn't sleep. I was finally able to get to sleep and my alarm goes off. I snoozed it for as long as I could, then I laid there for a while. I probably should have just gotten up and ignored my feelings. Because my feelings overwhelmed me and I realized I am not ready to go back to work. I really, truly thought I was. But the more I thought about it, the less confident I felt. I know that I have to go back. I will. I had really good intentions. My boss told me to take as long as I need and to just keep her updated. I had told her initially that today would be the day, but it's not.
I am disappointed in myself. I thought that I had my shit together. But then when the reality of the situation came, I couldn't deal. I know I should just jump back on the horse, so to speak. Chris is concerned that I will never be ready to go back. I understand his concern, but what am I supposed to do. I need to figure out a way to deal with my emotional baggage. I am giving myself one more week. I will take this week and not ignore my feelings. I will try to get my head right. But I will go back.
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