Today I got test results from my colonoscopy last week (last week? it seems like I had that weeks ago!). Negative. Benign. All good. I have to have another one in 5 years and probably 5 years after that, etc etc. But for now, I am cancer free. At least colon cancer free.
I struggle with the excitement I feel over my negative results while my aunt is still in the hospital dealing with her positive results. They are not sure if it is ovarian, but there is malignancy somewhere in the general abdomen area. She is still waiting to see the specialist that she has been waiting for 3 days to see. So that is still so up in the air.
I am going to my PC tomorrow to talk about the numbness that I am still having in my face and arms. I will be willing to bet you a million dollars that he is gonna tell me it is all anxiety related and that there really isn't anything (other than what we have already figured out) wrong with me.
from helpguide.org...
Signs and symptoms of anxiety disorders
The primary symptoms of anxiety disorders are fear and worry. However, anxiety disorders are also characterized by additional emotional and physical symptoms.
Emotional/Psychological Symptoms
* Apprehension, uneasiness, and dread - yup
* Impaired concentration or selective attention
* Feeling restless or on edge - yup
* Avoidance - yup
* Hypervigilance
* Irritability - yup
* Confusion
* Behavioral problems (especially in children and adolescents)
* Nervousness and jumpiness - yup
* Self-consciousness and insecurity - yup
* Fear that you are dying or going crazy - BIG TIME!!!
* Strong desire to escape - yup
Physical Symptoms
* Heart palpitations or racing heartbeat - yup
* Chest pain - yup
* Hot flashes or chills - yup
* Cold and clammy hands - yup
* Stomach upset or queasiness - yup
* Frequent urination or diarrhea - yup
* Shortness of breath
* Sweating
* Dizziness
* Tremors, twitches, and jitters - see, told you
* Muscle tension or aches - yup
* Headaches - yup
* Fatigue - yup
* Insomnia - yup, but this is getting better. After going back on the Ambien, I haven't taken it in a week!! woo hoo!
I gotta start calling psychologists. My sister gave me a good idea to get recommendations from my PC tomorrow and then start calling again. I tried calling around the list doctors on my insurance website, but there are so many that I didn't know where to start. I called a few from work and realized that was not the place to be making those phone calls. Hopefully the doctor can give me some references and that will make it easier.
But hey, no cancer for me!
2 comments:
Good news! :)
Very good news! :)
Speaking from experience, I have one thing to tell you about psychologists - not every one is right for you, so if you don't feel like you are connecting or getting anywhere, don't feel like you have to stick to the first one you go to. I'm sure you already know this, but I just gotta put it out there. Sometimes they work for you and sometimes they don't. And anxiety is one of those things that usually has a very specific treatment (or at least the anxiety that I had, had a specific treatment). Anyway, good luck with the psychologist. They can be very VERY helpful if you get the right one. *hugs*
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