i just realized something

I am kinda happy right now.
All the stuff that was depressing me over the last few weeks have not gone away. Nothing has been resolved. But I am... happy. Scary. I am hesitantly excepting of this mood. Let's see how long it will last.

If I never hear the name Jessica Simpson again, it will be too soon.

Anyway, what's up with me?
Well I am officially at the start of my 4.5 day weekend! I only work 1/2 day on Thursday, off on Friday, off on Saturday, took Sunday off, and Monday is the holiday. HOORAY! I have some fun stuff happening this weekend too.
Tonight we are going to the Cardinals vs Broncos preseason football game at the new Cardinals stadium. Excited! Love the Cardinals and love Jake Plummer (quarterback of the Broncos). Not looking forward to the stress of parking. Apparently its total chaos. We have to leave over 2 hours before the game starts just to try to get a place to park and even then we will have to park far away and take a freaking shuttle to the stadium. Hopefully the game will be good. My mom and dad are gonna be there too, in the row in front of us. So that's fun.
Then on Saturday is the long awaited WICKED!! My mom and I are going to the Saturday matinee. I am really looking forward to it.
And today it was decided that when I get home from the show on Saturday, we are gonna leave to go camping. Ah, what? Camping? Laura doesn't camp. Her husband, however is a freakin Eagle Scout and apparently she can only avoid the inevitable for so long. I guess its my payback for all the shows and things I put him thru. We are gonna have to go shopping and buy all sorts of things (ie. tent). I guess the upside (dear god, I am attempting to find something positive out of CAMPING?) is that where ever we go, it will be cooler. I will be sure to take the camera to preserve the memories.

sis, they will even gift wrap them for you!

I saw this and instantly thought of my sister. And her liking of that god awful Justin Timberlake song. What even is it called? This pairing does frighten me, however.

edited to add: right, SexyBack. yikes.

he speaks

I was hoping and praying that he would comment, in some way, to make this stop. (It made the cover of PEOPLE too!) And today he did on his blog, in his own wonderful way. We all know what he means.

You still have me.

That bitch is gonna burn for this.

Liars. All of them.

Jessica Simpson's New Man: John Mayer
John Mayer: Jessica Simpson’s New Love?
Jessica Simpson & John Mayer Dating?
John Mayer Infects Jessica Simpson!!!
Jessica's New Man
Jessica Simpson & John Mayer Are Dating!
Jessica's "Public Affair" With John Mayer
Gross Couple Alert!
Jessica Simpson’s New Romance
Jessica Simpson And John Mayer, A "Public Affair"
Is John Mayer Jessica’s new man?
Jessica Simpson's New Man: John Mayer

Ok. Ok. I could go on all night. Here's what we know. Jessica Simpson supposedly confirmed to US Weekly that they are dating. Now, if you notice none of those links are to US Weekly. That's because I could not find their story on their own website. Anywhere. Also, its suspicious that she has an album coming out. I know he does too, but he would not pull a stunt like this. Her, however. I have no doubt. I'll bet he said hi to her, just like all the other guys she supposedly "dated", and she now thinks that means they are dating. Wouldn't put it past that genius. He wouldn't date her. He is too smart. He might screw her and not regret it, but date...never.
I hated her before and hate her even more now for spreading this rumor. What else do we know? They are both sick. John had laryngitis. Jessica's sick too, but her story is a bruised vocal cord. I know that the fact that they are both sick at the same time, it seems very odd. I get that. But unless he bruised... oh god. I can't even...

IF THIS IS TRUE, HE HAS LOST ME AS A FAN. FOREVER.

edited to add: US Weekly has finally posted their story. The cover. Dear, God. It made the cover.

get well soon

Laryngitis forces John Mayer to cancel

That was Saturday night. Right now I am listening to the Friday night show. You can tell his voice is on its way out. He was trying, but not really reaching the high notes and sometimes almost talking the lyrics. He only took Saturday night off. Last night he went on, but from what I hear, he was struggling. At least he's trying. He doesn't want to disappoint us. At least he will better by October 4th.

This is what he had to say on the message board:
08/26/06 8:37pm
To my fans who came to the Hartford show-

I can’t tell you how sorry I am that I wasn’t able to play for you tonight. Canceling a show is always the last resort, and I wouldn’t have done so if there was any way I could have performed even close to your expectations. When it comes to your voice, you can’t work around it... I wish it were something else than my throat, as playing live on stage can be a wonder drug for so many ailments...No getting around it here.

You should all know how much Sheryl stepped up tonight – She’s going to be playing a full set, and I know it’s going to be great. She’s wonderful.
I’ll make it up to you in the future...I’m already brainstorming.

I owe you one, CT.

John

How many artists do you know of that would reach out and say they are sorry for having to miss a show? None that I know of.
Get better soon, sweetie.

And in case you missed the Today show performance, you can see it here.

edited to add:
Cute picture from last night. Don't say it. I've already thought it. What is he looking for back there?

until I can post one...

go here to look at pictures of Wentworth Miller at the Emmy's. He came on screen and I screamed, "I didn't know he was gonna be there!" Chris then said, "Some fan you are." I know, what is wrong with me? I guess I have been a little distracted lately.
Anyway, the show was dumb overall. Mind you, I didn't get to watch it as intently as I would have liked. I was entertaining a 3 year old. Not high on my list of things to do right now, but whatever. Chris's friend came over to use our computer to order new parts for his computer, because his computer died. But he didn't just come over, he brought his whole damn crew. His girlfriend, who we had never met before and his daughter. There is lots of drama associated with him and the daughter, including inter-state custody fights. But that's beside the point. It was nice to have a kid in the house, but hurt my heart like no other. Anyway - Emmy's. No one I really like won (or was even nominated for that matter), EXCEPT FOR JEREMY PIVEN!!!! I have so excited that he won. When they were announcing his category, I was saying there is no way he will win. But he did. So cute. Love him. Very deserving.

edited to add:

and for good measure:

awards show junkie

The EMMY's are tonight.

The VMA's are Thursday. Bummer. I am going to the Cardinals game on Thursday night. These will be taped. That's probably better anyway, because they can be really lame. But Jack Black is hosting, so it can't be that bad.

I totally forgot about this...

Back in May, when Chris and I went to a Diamondbacks game, some guy came around and took pictures. He gave us a card and said that we could see the pictures online in a few days. Well, the game was like the day after Chris's accident and seeing the picture of us online got forgotten. Today though, I was looking on the Diamondbacks website and saw the links for all the fan photos. I found ours:

Turns out, you can order a print with that cool border around it. I ordered a 5x7. I think my eyes are closed, but its a fun picture to have. We were sitting in the picnic area eating Skyline chili. See, we were at the game for a University of Cincinnati Alumni Association get-together. They brought in yummy food from Cincinnati and we got to have those cool picnic tables to sit at and watch the game. It was neat.

Why lucky?

Gee, I am blogging a lot today. I guess its because my butt is glued to this chair (And much more comfortably after my trip to Target in which I purchased a chair cushion for the hard ass IKEA desk chair.) while I listen to Continuum over and over, just like I said I would.
Anyway.
I know that I have a ton of junk on my sidebar, so it's probably not real obvious when I change my mood bear. But I changed it today to lucky. Why? Well, I am going thru something in my life right now that I am not ready to blog about. It's too raw and too personal, at least until maybe I can wrap my own head around it. Then the car dies. Died. A hunk of scrap parked in front of the house. That created a whole other set of problems that I just wasn't ready to deal with. We can't really afford another car payment (I owned the dead one out right.) and buying a car is the worst. We just went thru that and it was such a pain after Chris's accident. We are still weighing our options and that means in the mean time, we carpool. That is really not convenient for us either. I work long days and so does Chris, but they are not the same hours. I go in earlier than he does and he usually stays late. We will do it, but we can't for very long. I just wish that a car fairy would drop another car on my door step. That happened last year when my dad bought me my car (the now dead one). It is 13 years old and we knew it wouldn't last forever. It was really great while it did last, though. But now we have to deal with getting a car on top of everything else, including Chris having to travel back and forth to LA (He went on Tuesday and has to go again next Tuesday). It is just too much. My mom always asks me what she can do to help me. She knows there really isn't anything she can do, but she wishes there was. Last night I was overwhelmed and called her. I said, "What you can do is make this car situation go away." I knew there was only so much she could do, but she did give me advice on car buying. So that helped. Ah, lost track of what I have writing about. But that was a good example. Lucky. Why am I feeling lucky? Because I have family that loves me and really does try to help in their own ways. I have music that brings me so much joy. I have new TV season coming up, which included the premiere of Prison Break on Monday (it freakin rocked, btw). I have a lot to be thankful for. So I guess I am thankful and lucky.

This is me, trying like hell to stay positive. Hanging on for dear life. But really lucky that I have what I do have.

in an attempt...

to prove that I do not have a one track mind as far as music is concerned, I share with you the two most recent cd's I have purchased:

Killer tracks: Black Horse and the Cherry Tree & Suddenly I See
Not just because those are the popular ones, but I haven't had much time to devote to the rest of the album. You know, with Continuum leaking and all...

Has all my favorite songs on it! April 29, This House Is Not A Home, Rolling Down The Hill, Shakespeare's Tragedy . So many great songs. Hence Greatest Hits.

But really, honestly... I listen to John Mayer 90% of the time. Can't deny the truth.

If you haven't yet checked it out, Continuum is still available to hear now. If you do nothing else, please listen to Heart of Life. If you want to understand me at all, that song will help.

poor pluto

Can you believe that we only have 8 planets now? Scientists are kooky. The one planet they get rid of is the one discovered in Arizona, at Lowell Observatory. Ain't that the way.

get up early tomorrow

More a reminder for me. But I also want to share. Johnny boy will be performing tomorrow morning on the Today show. ("tomorrow, on Today..." That always cracks me up. I am easily amused.) Yeah! Can't wait. It's usually in the last hour of the show, so I don't have to get up too early.

Also, I just found out about this today: John Mayer to perform on 'C.S.I.' opener! Freaking cool. That's such a good show. Not my favorite, but definitely a good show to be on.

nice things

I got a really nice card in the mail from my sister.

My dad sent me this, randomly in an email:

I have a nice family.

I just wanna go home..

so that I can listen to Continuum over and over and over and over. 1 hour until I can! I know, I know. But I do that with new music. I listen to it so much, then take a break, then rediscover it and fall in love with it all over again.

So excited. Crampy, depressed and sick. But excited!

I love the internet part 802

live streaming radio! woo hoo!

John Mayer is premiering his album live today on the radio (STAR 98.7FM out of LA) and they stream their broadcasts live online. It just started and I am such a happy camper. He is not only playing the whole album, but he is DJing it too! The first song, Waiting on the World to Change, just ended and he started talking. I just screamed out loud! I am gonna blog this. I am so freaking excited!!!!!! This is so cool! I have only heard these songs in their early, live versions. This is the first time that they are being heard by the public (other than Waiting on the World to Change - the 1st single and the 1st track).

complete track listing: here

I Don't Trust Myself With Loving You - track 2
Groovin. A sorta medium speed song with a strong drum and bass groove. Its got a little bit of horns near the end. Sorta like a mild version of the horns in Clarity. He said it was on his "soul" path.

Belief - track 3
I HAVE NEVER HEARD THIS SONG BEFORE!!!!!
Ben Harper plays on the track. Cool. Not sure how I feel about this song. Its really filled out. It does not sound like him at all. It will grow on me, I'm sure. Still on the fence about it.

"I'm Johnny. This is Continuum. Stay put."
Not moving baby. Not moving.

Gravity - track 4
This song was on the Trio album, TRY. But this is a new version. Its much more emotional this way. It reminds me of the live, acostic version more than the version off, TRY.
...twice as much ain't twice as good. and can't sustain like one half could... just keep my where the light is...
Such a good song.

Heart of Life - track 5
"No matter what you're going thru, this one is for you."
I am crying. That made me cry. He's such a cool guy.
...so turn off your tears and listen...
..bad news never had good timing...
for the lyrics, go here.
This a stripped version. Him with a guitar. All heart.
"Its a great big Hallmark card for whatever you need it to be."

"I'm John Mayer, cuz I have to be."

Vultures - track 6
Another one that was on TRY. It's a cool song. But not my favorite.

Stop This Train - track 7
"Its the most emotionally confrontational..."
Its about getting older. About our parents getting older too. Something that all of us at this age can totally relate to. I am glad that I am not the only 28 year old who feels this way.
...so scared of gettin older. I'm only good at being young. so I play the numbers game to find a way to say that life has just begun...

Such a great song. James Valentine from Maroon 5 plays on the track.
He really explains it more on the bio on johnmayer.com:
"A lot of these songs are about coming to terms with getting older," he says. "My generation was never told we were going to get older. We thought we were going to hear our names on 'Romper Room' for the rest of our lives. For a long time, I was really upset about getting older, worried that things were just going to level out. But then I realized that everyone around me was all getting older at the same time. We're all fighting it together, and we're always going to be those kids, the first really emotionally aware generation. When I realized that, I could relax about it a little bit. And I thought that maybe I can be the guy to sing about it."

Slow Dancing in a Burning Room - track 8
Much slower than how he was playing it live. Very groovin and soulful, like I Don't Trust Myself.... He said that the words came out of the music. He said he had the groove and it just sounded like actually slow dancing in a burning room.
...you be a bitch because you can...

Bold As Love - track 9
A Jimi Hendrix cover. Cool. But I am not big on covers. He plays the shit out of it, though. It was recorded live. Played with the Trio. He said that they recorded it the day after they performed the same song on the Tsunami benefit show. I saw that show. I have a recording of that show. Neat. He said that it is for the fans who want to hear him play guitar more, because there is a 2 minute long guitar solo.

Dreaming With A Broken Heart - track 10
Starts with piano. After the first verse, a little drums then a quiet guitar. It creeps up. I guess songs tend to do that. Then a build up to a dramatic guitar solo. Kinda cheesy, I hate to admit. I like the acostic live version way better. This is too produced. It ends the same way it started. Piano and vocal.

In Repair- track 11
I think I spoiled myself with the live versions. I should have known they would be different. This song does not sound as emotional as it does acostic. The lyrics are still incredible. The song is still really good. But really different with a full band. Ooh, rockin little guitar solo. And the end has lots of neat guitar playing.

I'm Gonna Find Another You - track 12
"...the after record mint, if you will."
Very old school. He said that he produced it with a guy who worked with Al Green. And it really sounds Al Greenish. Nice horn section. This might have become my new favorite song off the album. This is really good.

"Be safe and happy and healthy. These are really heavy times, but maybe music can get us thru."

It's over. Boo Hiss. More. Play it more!

You too can hear it, but not until tomorrow. Check it out.

in case you don't get Entertainment Weekly

I wanted to share the beautiful photo from this weeks issue:

I gotta post stuff that makes me happy and smile. I gotta. The alternative is not good.

say yes to chips and salsa for breakfast

This is really yummy...

Salpica Mango Peach Salsa

Teen Choice Awards

Last night Chris asked me why I was watching the awards. He said, "Are you a teen?" Um, no. "Do you have a choice?" Not so much. I told him I just watch it for the humor and the eye candy.

Yum.
But I cannot write a post about these awards without mentioning the final performance of the show. Dear Lord, it was Kevin Federline. It was terrible. He is really, really bad. What I said outloud was, "I would rather have someone pull out my toenails with tweezers then ever watch that performance again."

And speaking of Wentworth... PRISON BREAK SEASON 2 TONIGHT!

I am spent

I know, on Friday I never updated what happened with my car. It seems like a waste now anyway. But I'm getting ahead of myself. The diagnosis was that the engine was misfiring and needed to be reset. Whatever that means. They also did a mini tune up and it cost $200. I was willing to pay that because it would mean that the car would last for a little longer. But I should have known something wasn't right when the guy at the shop told us "Don't put any more money into this car." He told us that there were other things that were close to death. A little closer than we even knew. While I was driving home from work yesterday, it died. Died. Stopped. All the lights came on the dash board. I was able to get it to roll into a Walgreens parking lot, thank god. Called Chris. Called AAA. Lemme just tell you - get AAA! It was a life saver. They were there within 25 minutes. They towed it home for us. They would have towed it to the shop, but since we are not sure what we are going to do, we brought it home while we decide. Chris called the shop this morning and they are pretty positive that its the timing belt. They told Chris how to determine if it is or not and Chris will check that later (he had to get to work so he couldn't do it this morning). But if that is it, we are looking at more money than the car is worth. We still haven't decided what we are going to do. But we are leaning towards getting a short term lease on a new car. That way we can get the lowest car payment, but get a dependable car for me. But who knows. The good thing (if there is anything good in this whole situation) is that was not going to work today or tomorrow. I had planned that long before the car died. That makes it easier on the car pool factor.
This is all just too much for me. This has been a terrible week.