black friday

My mom and I decided to brave a couple of stores yesterday. We were not crazy and got up before dawn. We went later in the afternoon and we were on a mission. We went to Old Navy and it was nuts. There were tons of people and the store was a mess. Everything was thrown all over the place. My goal was to find these and I sure did find them. That means I now own HO flips! So happy. We found the flip-flops and got out of that store as soon as possible. Then next 2 stores we went to were actually not bad at all. They didn't appear and busier than usual. We found almost every thing we were looking for and got great deals in the process. I am just glad that we didn't try to do more. All the crowds and chaos are not something I enjoy.
But dude... I have HO flips! So worth it.

daily overdose of hotness

Guess who is on cover of the latest issue of Details?
Apparently, there is an article that goes with the pictures.
goodness gracious

It gets better...


Today was a much better day.

venting

Tonight, after Adam Lambert's performance on the American Music Awards, there was some upheaval online, especially twitter. I have lot more feeling about the subject than I cannot express in 140 characters. My opinion on the performance... dumb, desperate and not good at all. What wasn't good was the singing. His wailing is something I could never get into while he was Idol. He has a great voice, but its not really as rocker as he thinks it is. I heard some of his performances when he was in Wicked and that is what he needs to be doing. When he screeches, it ruins the whole song. The dumb part was him acting like he is this huge superstar already. He thinks he is this rock god. I hate to break it to him, but he was only on Idol. He's not even in the same vain as anyone I would consider a rock star. What was desperate was him grinding all over the dancers and having them crawl over him. Now, I can get into artistic performances, Lady Gaga, but until you have have had a number one hit or even an album in the stores, show the audience your talent, not how you can run around a stage and stick your face in people's crotches. Desperate for attention. That's what that was.
Now the issue that arose on twitter was that many people were saying that the performance was gross and disgusting. People have the right to their opinion, even if they don't phrase that opinion in the most appropriate ways. Seems ridiculous to start attacking those that disagree with you. Do you really think you will change their mind? Its a waste of your time and will only upset yourself when they don't suddenly agree with you. Not worth it. But something worse happened while people were disagreeing about the performance. Some people started accusing others of being homophobic, because they said the performance was disgusting. I get very confused how the leaps are made. Seriously. If I said Jennifer Lopez's performance sucked, could I then be accused of being racist again Puerto Ricans? Just because a person says that Adam's grinding was disgusting does not necessarily have any thing to do with him being gay. I am sure that, for some people, it does. But for the majority of people, including me, his sexuality had nothing to do with it. Why this leap? I still can't wrap my brain around it. Also, that is a lot of pressure to put on Adam. He is just doing his thing and if people expect him to allows represent the entire gay community, people will be disappointed. Its not fair to him. So people, please. I hated Carrie Underwood's outfit, but that does not mean I have issues with blonde girls from Oklahoma.

Relax. Its just entertainment. Not everyone likes the same things. Good thing there are lots of options.

a cute little story

I had forgotten about a cute thing that happened when I was on the east coast, visiting my sister. I remembered today, because my sister was processing some pictures she had taken of her friends family, for their Christmas card. While I was there, we went over to her friends house to visit for a little bit. Her friend has a daughter who will be two very soon. While we were visiting, we were playing with her and I was sitting on the floor. The little girl came up to me, pointed at the tattoo on my foot and said, "What's that?" I told her it was a ladybug and she looked right at me and said, "Why?" She said it in the cutest voice you could imagine. Almost in a sing-songy voice. "Whiiiii?" How could I not laugh? I said to her, "That's a good question, J." Even at that age, tattoos are perplexing.

i must own this!

Finally, there is a Hello Kitty stocking that is not all pink. I love Hello Kitty, but do not like pink. So when there is Kitty stuff that is not pink, I am overjoyed.

obsessed with these

Who wants to buy me these? Oh. They are only $5 at Old Navy? I think I can swing that. Nothing like Christmas flip flops, especially HO ones and candy cane hearts!. Can't wear these in most parts of the country, but I can!

update on last post

This morning, I decided to call Vic. I had to end this stupid limbo. It rang and rang. He never answered or was not home. He does not have voicemail or an answering machine. I let it ring for a long time. I figured if he doesn't have voicemail, he wouldn't have caller id. How would he know that I called? I emailed him. This is what the email said...

I just tried to call you. What I was going to tell to you was that I really didn't have anything to say.
Please do not call me back.
Maybe in the future, if I feel like communicating with you, I will. For now, this is all I can do.

Laura

That really is what I was going to say. In truth, the email was easier than the conversation would have been. It was a lot less stressful for me... as it should be. Who knows what will happen next, but I think I made myself very clear.

not all sunshine and light

My father Vic called me on Sunday. It was the first time I had heard from him since the day before he was moving out of state. That was back in April and he called me to ask if I would help him pack. I said no and that was the last I had heard from him. Then a birthday card showed up in my mailbox (a day late) and it sent me spinning. Not only a card, but a check. It was one of the those really long, mushy cards that you never really read. I didn't read it and still never have. All he wrote was something lame like, Hope you have a Happy Birthday. Love, Dad. As if nothing had happened. As if I hadn't spoken to him in over 6 months. I cashed the check and sent him a simple thank you note. Said "Thank you for the card and check. Love, Laura." I did the right thing by sending him the note. I didn't even have his address until I got if off the return address on the card. Now had I known what would happen after he got the thank you note, I might not have sent it. That is what led to him calling me on Sunday. I didn't answer. It was a number I didn't recognize and I never answer calls from numbers I don't know. I didn't have his phone number either. He left me a message and it was full of crap. "I miss you. I hope I can talk to you." Bullshit like that. I haven't called back. I didn't call back then, because 1. I was watching football and I don't like being interrupted during my Cardinals games and 2. I was feeling sick. Still kinda am. Must be some sinus or something. Even now, though, I don't know if I want to call him or not. Before, it was simple. He doesn't call me, I don't call him. I don't have anything to say to him. Actually, that's not true. And honestly, that is why he hasn't called me. He has told people that he hasn't called me, because I will just yell at him and tell him things he doesn't want to hear. Oh, you mean like you are a dumbass and are screwing up your life by buying a bride from Russia. Stuff like that? Oh hell yes, I will tell him things he does not want to hear. But he should be the parent. And he should be able to listen to what I have to say. Allow me to be honest with him and still be able to maintain a relationship. That is what parents are supposed to do. But I had decided a long time ago, that venting that anger and frustration to him was just a waste of time. Nothing would change. It will only cause me grief. So I have nothing to say to him. I don't want him in my life. Plus, whenever he calls my sister, all his does is talk about himself, his cabinets and his Russian bride. I hear all about it from her. I don't need to hear it from him too. What would I even say to him? He is not worth getting upset over. He is not worth me stressing about this at all. My sister says that I should talk to him. That even though he is a jackass, he's still our father. I don't really buy that. He may be the man who's sperm got my mother pregnant with me, but he hasn't been a father to me in a very long time.

daily dose of hotness - album release day addition

Just pretend that it is still yesterday...

How could I not post a daily dose of hotness on album release day?

Alright, after you pick your jaw up off the floor, lets talk Battle Studies. It was wonderful to wake up and have an album just waiting to be downloaded. That is an awesome feeling. I have listened to the whole album when it was "leaked" last weekend.

Side note: If it is leaked on an official site, like Rhapsody, and with the artists approval, does that even count as leaked? It shouldn't. And so many albums are being leaked before the release date that it just seems pointless to have a later release date. Just put it out earlier. Stupid. I hate when I see that albums are leaked.

Sorry. Got sidetracked there.

So I had heard the album already, but hadn't really listened to it. I really wanted to wait until I had my own copy and could start and stop and play which ever song I wanted. I have been doing that all day. I have to say that, of course, I love it.
Love.
But we knew that would happen. However, I have not yet been able to pick a favorite track. I need to play them more. There are some that I go to play more often, like All We Ever Do is Say Goodbye and Heartbreak Warfare. I think the rest of the album needs more time to stew. I need to learn more of the lyrics first. When I do, I can appreciate the songs more. I am all about the lyrics.

Then tonight, I watched the live show on FUSE and was able to hear some of the new songs live. I fell in love with Friends, Lovers or Nothing. Wow. And I thought Gravity was a great closing song. F,L or N is an amazing song. Don't know if its my favorite, but its up there. I really hope I can find a video of it on youtube. The whole show was great and it was an awesome way to end album release day.

happy birthday to me

Today, I am 32 years old. Being in my 30's ain't nearly as bad as I had expected. But that is probably because I still act like a 12 year old.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

glee

I have yet to discuss on here, my overwhelming love for the show Glee. I will freely admit that I am obsessed with it. However, I really try hard not to read or watch any spoilers. I like to go into the show fresh; not knowing what will happen. However, I came across a clip from next weeks episode and I just had to watch it.

**stop here if you do not want any spoilers**

I had to watch it, because it is Puck singing Sweet Caroline. You heard me! I am so in love with Mark Salling. Puck is my favorite character. He needs to be developed more. I know there are so many characters that its tough to develop them all. Anyway... watch.
This clip brings up many questions... Why does it appear he is singing it to Rachel? Does Quinn really have feelings for him? AUGH!! I never should have watched this, because now I want to search around and find out more. But I will use all my will-power to not do that. I can wait until Wednesday. Can't I?

daily dose of hotness

In honor of his birthday, I am bringing back my daily dose of hotness. Hotness does a body good. This is the cover art for the new album. It comes out a month from tomorrow. Enjoy the view.

Happy 32nd Birthday, Johnny.

i'll be joining that club in 16 days.

who wants to buy me these?

I am obsessing over these clogs. Not like I need more clogs, but these are too cute. Need to own. These need to be mine.

today

Yesterday was bad, but today is a joyful day.
Not only is it the birthday of John Mayer, but it is also the birthday of gorgeous, little Scarlett Aurora Logan.
She was born the day after my miscarriage. From death comes new life. She is my little angel. So, happy 3rd birthday Scarlett.

yesterday

It is so much easier to just sleep thru October 15th and that is what I did yesterday. I stayed up until about 5am, then slept all day been up since about 4pm yesterday. Gonna try to stay awake all day today, so that I can sleep tonight. That should get me back on track.
Sleeping thru yesterday means I did not deal with it. I ignored it. I know that is not healthy, but I think it will get easier over time. I cannot forget waking up around 3:15am on October 15, 2006. I miscarried. It was my first pregnancy and after only 7 weeks it was over. It was the worst day of my life. So this year I chose to ignore it. Not dwell in it. Just skip the day completely. It will get easier, right?

what did i do to deserve this?

Both videos in the same day? Seriously!
Someone take my blood pressure.

Jason Castro - Let's Just Fall in Love Again



John Mayer - Who Says

bleh

Since its tomorrow, I can say that I had a bad day yesterday. I had trouble falling asleep and so I didn't wake up until 3pm. I hate that. I end up getting nothing done. I feel so shitty about it that I just end up doing nothing. When I get up in the morning, I feel like I have time to get going and do things. But not yesterday. I am not making much sense and it feels like a bunch of excuses. I know. I know. I just have a hard time shaking the feelings. It was just a bad day. I try to have fewer and fewer of them.

This post is pointless. Going to shut up now.

how you deal

Good things will happen. Bad things will happen. Sure, you have some control over these things happening. Like don't put yourself in dangerous situations and the likelihood of something bad happens, decreases. Same with the good. But what is more important than all that is how you react to the situation. You need to appreciate when the good things happen. And when the bad things happen, you have to work thru it. You can't let it destroy you. It's all about how you deal. From the largest to the smallest situation.
Trust me, I do not have my shit together. But I have been learning how to function and not let situations control me. I may not be able to stop something from happening, but I can control how I react. One important thing, though... ignoring it and pretending it didn't happen is not dealing with it. The only way out is through.