the (your name here) needs meme...

I saw this on my sister's blog and gave it a shot. And I have to say, I am totally freaked out by it.

...needs a son to carry on her legacy (this was the first one and I knew it was downhill from here.)
...needs our help (See.)
...needs "a man" (and it was in quotes. But I already have one, right?)
...needs a hug (true)
...needs to get stronger and louder (again, true)
...needs to teach (can google read my mind?)
...needs me (and who might you be?)
...needs to do online research (about?)
...needs more fat, less carbs (um, you're half right)
...needs to take the train (where?)
...needs to learn a few things (again, true)
...needs a boob job (and it starts to get creepy again)
...needs a friend (and creepier)
...needs to, like, back off (ah, valley girl speak. what a relief!)
...needs to be confident and outgoing (shit! this is about all I can take.)
...needs to do more photo shoots (ok. we are cool again. I was gonna try to be a model, but they wanted me to take classes and I vetoed that.)