Thursday, August 14, 2008

chaos

Sometimes I think life likes to play games with you. Just when you think you are finally getting things together, it comes and knocks you off your feet. Or maybe off your pedestal. But I don't think I was on a pedestal and maybe that is why it is so upsetting. I was just starting to feel good about the direction of my life. Sure, there are major issues, but overall I was happy. Then one friend tells me one thing and BOOM! Life as you knew it is over. Who cares if I may be over dramatic. It's really how it felt. And if that's who I feel about it, it's how I feel. Can't deny it. There have been tears. There has been whining. I want to kick something. I am not dealing at all. I know I am being vague and that is because no one would understand. No one. You might think you would, but I promise you that you wouldn't. Most people would probably say that I am being stupid. In fact, that has already been told to me, but not in so many words. I don't care. I feel like I am gonna slip back into the depression that I had been in for months. Augh. I hate life sometimes. I wish I never started having a good life and then I would never feel like this again.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

OK, I might not understand, but I sure as hell wouldn't think that whatever upset you was stupid.

I mean, how can we even dare to make distinctions like that? Cause after all, what in this madhouse isn't stupid?!

Anyway, depression makes total sense. Take a look around. What's not depressing about the state of the earth? Or about the human condition? Or about what we've done to this poor raggedy planet? In fact, I'd say that whoever isn't depressed ought to be on some sort of reality medication....

Hope you adapt to this insane world soon so that at least you're not suffering because you've been told you ought to be feeling perky and you aren't! :-)